Page 61 of Heart Check
A short, brutal career, the way things are looking. Over before it even starts.
He shrugs, calm and patient as always. Then again, he doesn’t need to yell for me to be disappointed in myself. “I’m just saying, you don’t want to waste this shot. A scout’s coming? We want him to see what we all know—that you’re the best in the game.”
The best in the game. Talent’s nothing without good luck and hard work. You’re going to be better than I ever was.
The refrains I’ve been hearing my whole life ring in my ears. But today, they’re mixed with new hauntings.
I don’t need someone who’s so aware of his social status and how outmatched we are that he thinks dating me is a favor.
Maybe I don’t want to be the best in the game. Maybe it’s not worth it. Not if this is where I end up.
“I got it,” I say through gritted teeth. “I’m gonna go rest so I don’t do somethingreckless.”
I ignore Mom’s worried look and Dad’s frown, half joggingup the steps to my bedroom. I can’t close the door behind me quickly enough.
We have early practice tomorrow. I should get some rest.
But as soon as I lie down, I start tossing and turning, my thoughts spiraling out of control. My posters stare down at me from the walls: my favorite Wolverines, including a vintage one from when Dad was on the team. The trophies I’ve collected over the last few years gleam in the dim glow of the streetlights shining through my curtains. From youth hockey all the way to last year’s regionals.
Normally they’d be reminders of everything I’ve accomplished. Everything I’m worth.
Today, they make me question everything.
Am I really such a terrible person that Harper doesn’t even want to beassociatedwith me? I know she used to think my head was too big to hang out with anyone who wasn’t a jock, but I thought we were past that.
The things she said in the car… it felt like she’d been saving them up for a while.
I thought you were different from the rest of the team.
I hate being wrong.
Eventually, I give up and grab my phone, opening up the group chat with Alex and Ryan.
I fucked things up with Harper
Alex responds first:what’d you do??
Ryan:yeah, you two seemed to be getting along great at Skate Night?
Her friend Marissa found out and she freaked,I write.
Ryan:lisa frank???
Alex:ryan
Alex:focus
Ryan:I mean yeah that sounds bad man
Alex:wait, but what did YOU do?
I wince.I may have said something about how she shouldn’t be keeping me a secret. How the only impression people would have of us is that I was, um, doing her a favor
Alex:tell me you did not use those words
Me:Can we not kick a guy when he’s down??
Ryan:what if he knocked himself down and kinda deserves to be humbled
