Page 102 of The Truth About You and Me
‘Yes, it’s been a good day today, although Mrs Davenport in room thirty-nine threw her bedpan at me.’ I grimace as she points to the small mark on her forehead. ‘Thank you for visiting Derek. I know how much joy you coming here brings him.’
‘It’s a pleasure – anything I can do to help make his days a bit brighter. It’s like he can feel the loss of William, but he can’t understand why he’s in pain. I try to distract him as best as I can.’
She nods. ‘And you do and, well, I’ve spoken to the powers that be, and we wondered if you’d be interested in a more permanent position?’
‘A job?’
‘Mmhmmmm.’ She nods, brown ponytail swinging. ‘Not as a carer, but as a companion? Just a few hours a week… We’d love you to be part of the team.’
‘I…’
I don’t know how to react. I want to say yes. Of course I want to say yes. I would have to leave the department store job, and then I could fit it in with the rest of my cleaning, but being a proper member of staff would be difficult.
‘Thank you. But… can I think about it? I have a condition and…’
She nods. ‘I know.’ She looks at me with understanding, I wonder if Riz is somehow behind this job offer. ‘But you seem to be adapting?’ I press my lips together and look along the corridor where a young couple are looking at each other with worried eyes as they take in their surroundings, then I pull myself back to Ravina’s hopeful expression. ‘Just think about it and let me know? If not, well… keep on doing what you’re doing. The place is brighter for having you here.’
* * *
Riz’s room is two flights up, at the end of the corridor with windows that look out towards the southernmost tip of the bay. There is laughter from inside her room and I give the door a quick knock before I go in.
‘Maggie, darling!’ Riz’s face cracks into a red-lipsticked smile. ‘Meet Phillip!’ She leans forward on her chair, the table between them scattered with playing cards and what suspiciously looks like brandy in the bottom of their cups. ‘This is the girl I was telling you about.’ He is still tall despite his age, skin marked with years of a happy life threaded around the skin of his eyes and mouth.
‘Ah.’
My brows furrow at the look of sadness that flashes across his face. The type that stems from understanding someone, before they’ve said anything.
‘Nice to meet you,’ I reply, regardless of the expression on his face. I walk to the window, pulling open the curtains a little more. From Riz’s room, I can occasionally see Jack’s lighthouse. I hadn’t noticed it at first, but sometimes, if the sky is clear I get a glimpse. It’s like I can feel the turn of its cogs, the rhythm of it. The pull of safety it brings. I picture Chadders filled with family and laughter, the lighthouse keeping a watchful eye. Warmth settles in my stomach, my thoughts linking to each imaginary turn of the lamp: I was right; I was right; I was right. I turn my back and lean against the sill.
‘Phillip used to be a psychologist.’ She looks at me pointedly.
‘Really? How interesting.’ I give her an equally pointed stare.
He dips his head in response.
‘Well.’ He lands his hands on his knees and pulls himself out of the chair, wincing as he does. ‘Damn these old bones.’
‘Oh shush, you have a lot to be grateful for. Can’t bloody stand all the moans and groans around this place. Many folk don’t get to this age; we should all be walking around with permanent smiles as far as I’m concerned. Hitting your eighties is a damned lottery win if you ask me.’
‘You’re right, you’re right.’ He grins at Riz, all white dentures and sparkling eyes. Still a handsome man, I bet he had his pick… and looking at the way Riz’s hair is clipped up and the shade of her lipstick, I reckon he still can. ‘Good to meet you, Maggie.’ He shuffles towards the door, leaving his hand on the frame before meeting my eyes. He hesitates, like he’s about to give me some sage advice, but then throws Riz another smile and leaves.
‘Soooo Phillip huh?’ I wiggle my eyebrows up and down suggestively, steering well away from his profession.
‘Oh, behave yourself. One whiff of sexual tension would likely send his blood pressure skyrocketing.’ She shifts in her seat, winces, sucking in air sharply. I head towards her, hands twitching at my sides as she struggles to shift the cushions behind her. ‘Are you all right? Do you need me to get a nurse?’
‘To shift a few cushions? Absolutely not. I’m fine, just a bit stiff is all.’
I take the recently vacated chair and shift it back, but I don’t miss the way Riz is clenching her fist as though she’s holding her pain in her palm.
I know better than to ask Riz again but I will speak to Gloria, the nurse on duty. She’s hiding something from me. I’m tempted to touch her, but Riz is as proud as they come, and it’s not for me to go pickpocketing her thoughts, no matter how much I want to.
‘Now, I’ve been telling Phillip all about you and your… problems and he thinks it’s all down to deep abandonment issues.’
My eyebrows rise sceptically. ‘That’s not what this is.’
‘So, you’re not afraid of being cast aside, left alone?’
‘Everyone is afraid of that.’ I reach over and grab a biscuit.
