Page 12 of Blinded By Forever
I hesitate, my throat tightening. “He’s with Luna’s dad. Work stuff.”
Another lie.
Another cover I wasn’t sure I could keep telling.
Junior is old enough to understand the shift between us and Hayden pulling back.
After we’re all done eating our food, the boys help me clean up while I clean up River’s chair and her mouth. Now that the boys are older, they help around the house whenever they can or whenever I tell them too.
I want to be proud that they are helping me without me asking but it’s hard when all I’m thinking about is their father’s whereabouts and whether he’s coming home or not. Usually I go to sleep and ignore it but the more I do, the more it’s all bugging me and becoming too much.
Once we’re all done cleaning up, I send the boys upstairs to wash up for bed. I bring River to my and Hayden’s bathroom so that I can take a bath with her. Hayden and I always end up just showering with her because she makes a mess in the tub and water ends up going everywhere.
After River’s bath, I read her a bedtime story and she knocks out after the first few pages. For Easton, I put on the little song machine he has in his room because it helps him fall asleep. Junior has his night lamp on and I’m about to close the door but he stops me.
“Is dad coming home?”
My heart cracks a little bit.
I don’t know but I can’t say that to him.
I don’t want to make Hayden look bad because Hayden isn’t a bad dad, he just makes bad decisions that are reckless and sometimes selfish.
I walk into his room and sit on his bed. “Yea, he just got held up but I’m sure he’ll be home soon.”
“He’s been gone a lot lately.” I don’t say anything because I can’t. Everything I want to say, I can’t say to Junior. I don’t want Junior to see his father as a bad guy. “You guys have been fighting a lot too.”
“Adults fight. It’s normal.” I rub his shoulder and lean towards him to press my lips against his forehead. “Get sleep, you have school tomorrow.”
I get up and as I’m about to walk out, Junior says, “Love you, mom.”
“Love you, too.” I force a smile on my face as I close his bedroom door.
I go downstairs to the living room and turn on some random show. Even though my laptop is on the coffee table in front of me I don’t even try to write.
I just wait.
An hour passes.
Another hour long episode plays.
And by the time I hear the front door creak open it’s 1 in the morning.
I turn towards the entryway and see him.
He closes the door behind him as he stands tall, broad, and tired.
I look down at his hands, they are red. The knuckles scraped raw and skin torn in places, blood dripping from the cuts on his hand. His shirt has smudges too, dark and angry.
“Are you serious right now?” I stand slowly.
He freezes like he didn’t expect me to be awake and wait for him. “Princ-”
“Don’t princess me.” I storm towards him. “What the hell is going on with you? You’re coming home late again, barely seeing the kids or me, and walking in our home like this?”
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, low and firm. “It wasn’t supposed to go this far...”
“But it did. And you didn’t even call or text that you were coming home. You left me here by myself with the lies I had to tell the kids. When River cried and asked where her daddy was I had to tell her that he’ll be home soon when I didn’t even know if that was true or not. Easton, when he was done with his shower, asked why you were still gone. Or Junior when he kept looking at the door during dinner to see if you’d show up,” I say, as tears build in my eyes. “I can’t keep doing this Hayden.”
