Page 67 of An Overdue Match
But how can I be with him right now? How can I see him and not imagine his soft, adoring eyes changing to resemble the disgust in Brett’s or the pity in Hayley’s? How can I bear being near him when his presence is only going to remind me of what I almost had and was once again viciously snatched from my grasp?
I can’t. And I can’t talk to him about any of this becauseI’d have to reveal my secret and we know how well that went over last night.
The only thing left to do is to go back to how things were before. Before I ever entertained the idea that maybe I could be a heroine. Before the baseball game and the kiss that ruined me for life. Go back to pretending that Tai doesn’t make my stomach flip with his charming grin. That the way he focuses his attention on me doesn’t make me feel like I’m the only woman in the world who could make him happy. Go back to trying to convince myself of his insincerity. That none of this means anything.
The doorbell rings, and I take in a deep shaky breath, dabbing my eyes to make sure the moisture from my past tears has dried. I can’t let him know anything is wrong. I can’t have him worming his way farther into my heart. I can’t let him kiss me.
I open the door and force a bright smile on my face. “Right on time.”
His gaze sweeps over me appreciatively, the way it always does when he sees me again after any time apart. I should’ve expected it. I should’ve prepared myself. Instead, the gleam of desire in his eyes as they track my body is a jagged edge slicing away at my barely there composure.
He leans in to give me a kiss, but I turn my head and his lips land on my cheek. He pulls back and studies me, concerned. “Are you okay? Is something wrong?”
I breeze past him, my fake smile in place. “Why would something be wrong?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I asked.” He opens the passenger door for me, and I slide in.
After he shuts the door, everything in me wilts. I don’t know if I have the energy to keep up this false cheeriness for long.
Tai settles behind the wheel and turns the car on. “How was your visit with your grandparents yesterday?” he asks as he pulls out of my driveway.
I can feel his eyes on me every so often before focusing back on the road again. I keep my own attention fixedly out the windshield. “Fine.”
“Just fine?”
“Yep.”
He studies me for as long as he safely can while driving. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Fine again, huh?”
“Yep.” I’m still not looking at him. Add that to my can’ts list.
He sighs and rakes a hand through his hair, frustration coming off him in waves. He tries a few more times to start a conversation, but I can only muster one-word responses. By the time he pulls the car over at the Chilhowee overlook, I’m exhausted from faking it and he looks like he wants to shake me until I crack.
He puts the car in neutral and engages the emergency brake, turning to look at me head-on now that he doesn’t have to focus on driving. I keep staring out the windshield.
“Angel, please talk to me.”
“I am talking to you. See my lips moving? Hear the words coming out of my mouth? Talking.” I’m trying to be funny, to lighten the mood, but it’s falling flat, even to my ears.
He exhales another long, slow sigh. He’s losing his patience, and I can’t really blame him. “Will you please at least look at me?”
The muscle in my jaw ticks as I brace and force myself to do what he asks.
“Why are you doing this?” he whispers.
“Doing what?” If I play dumb, maybe he’ll let me off the hook. I can’t take much more. Already my eyes are burning with the threat of more tears. My chest feels like an elephant is sitting on it, and if I don’t get out of this car soon, I’m going to lose what little control I have.
“This.” His voice is earnest. “Acting like nothing happened between us. I woke up this morning, and the first thing I thought about was seeing you again. I thought we were finally on the same page. What happened between yesterday and today?”
My throat is thick with emotions, making it hard to swallow. I don’t want to hurt Tai, but I don’t know how else to get him to stop making my heart bleed. “I’m holding up my end of the bargain. What more do you want from me?”
“Forget our deal,” he explodes, patience completely gone from his voice. “Wehave never been about that stupid agreement and you know it.”
“I made my position quite clear from the beginning. You’re the one who manipulated the situation. If you don’t like the terms now, you can always just take me home.”
