Page 66 of An Overdue Match
You know why there aren’t any streets named after Chuck Norris, don’t you? Because no one crosses Chuck Norris.
It has nothing to do with Chuck Norris.
Hayley
I’m oddly disappointed.
Can you swing by or not?
Hayley
See you around 7:15
29
I’ve tried not to imagine a thousand scenarios of how this will go, of how Hayley will respond. I might as well write every emotion on Powerballs and put them in one of those lottery spinner thingies. The chances of predicting the seventeen-million-dollar numbers and the outcome of this right now are roughly the same.
I’m not sure what I’m going to say or how I’m going to do this. Shoutingta-da!and whipping my wig off without any preamble might be too much of a shock to her system. I’ve taken CPR classes and theoretically should be able to resuscitate someone, but giving mouth-to-mouth is kind of like changing a tire. Just because I understand the mechanics doesn’t mean I have any desire for practical application.
I settle a spare wig on my head and check my reflection in the mirror. It’s as good as it’s going to get, which is a good thing because the doorbell rings. I take a deep breath, get out of Kitty Purry’s direct path as she dashes under the bed, and make my way to the front door.
Hayley’s showing her teeth on the other side, and at first I think she’s smiling but then realize it’s more of a grimace. She bounces on her toes in some kind of dance, then pushes past me in a hurry.
“I had a Big Gulp from the 7-Eleven on my way over here, and if I don’t pee right this second, it’s going to be an improv of a not-housebroken puppy on your floor.” A door slams behind me, followed a moment later by a loud, relieved sigh.
I laugh despite how nervous I was five seconds ago. The sink runs in the bathroom, then the door opens and Hayley steps out.
“I feel so much better.” She walks into the living room and plops down on my couch. “What did you want to show me? I’m feeling marginally safe that it isn’t a hickey from my cousin since you don’t seem like the kind to kiss and tell, but then again, you swore up and down that you don’t date and we both know that’s no longer true. Which, for the record, I’m one-hundred percent on board with and happy about.” She grabs myOne More Chapterthrow pillow and snuggles up with it. “The two of you have gone to the top of my list with a huge check mark beside your names. I’m quite proud of myself, actually.”
“What list?”
She blanches. “Uhh ... Wait, didn’t you have something you wanted to show me?”
She’s trying to change the subject and not being even remotely subtle about it. But I don’t mind. I don’t have the bandwidth to chase whatever this list is or why Hayley’s being secretive about it. If I don’t reveal my own secret soon, I’m going to lose my nerve.
“Yes, I do.” I wrack my brain. I should’ve checked out a book from the library to do this. An intro to alopecia with pictures and diagrams. Most people haven’t even heard of the disorder.
Oh, wait. That might not be true anymore. “The slap heard around the world,” I blurt out.
Hayley gives me a quizzical look. “You wanted me to come over so you can show me a clip of Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars?”
“No, I—” I’m already muddling this up. “Do you know why Will Smith slapped Chris Rock?”
She frowns. “Didn’t he tell an insensitive joke about his wife or something?”
“Yes. Jada Pinkett Smith has alopecia. And so do I.” I reach up, slip my fingers under my false hairline, and bring the wig down to my lap, watching Hayley’s face and reminding myself to breathe.
Not until that moment did I know how I needed Hayley to react. Ornotreact would be a better way to put it. I needed her eyes to never stray from mine. To not widen in surprise or shock. To not glisten a second later. I needed her lips to not part. To not mutter, “Oh, Evangeline” in pity. I needed her to not hug the pillow in her lap tighter. To not use it as a shield. I needed her to not be affected in any way whatsoever. To see me exactly the same way as she had before. Like nothing had changed.
I realized what I needed because Hayley does the exact opposite, and my barely mended heart shatters all over again.
30
I can’t go on this picnic with Tai. I can’t get Hayley’s reaction to seeing me bald out of my head, and I can’t go on this picnic with Tai. I can’t stop crying for more than ten minutes, and I can’t go on this picnic with Tai. I can’t think of an excuse to cancel, but I can’t go on this picnic with Tai.
Anyone sensing a theme to the mantra repeating in my head right now?
Saying I have to work is futile because the library is closed today, so Tai will know right away that I’m lying. Telling him I’m not feeling well would only backfire and he’d probably want to come over to take care of me. I could make up an elaborate story of an opossum getting into the house and attacking Kitty Purry and now I need to rush her to the animal hospital, but he’d probably want to come along with me to that too.
