Page 87 of Night and Day
“Yes. But it was one line and kind of cryptic. He’s been making me these playlists on Spotify.”
“What? Like a mix tape?” Kati snorted.
“Yeah, pretty much. It’s adorable. I’m using his account. His phone. I told you I got robbed in Auckland, right? I only have my guitar and my passport. Izzy bought everything else I needed. I owe him so much! I mean, I paid him back, but—”
Kati stared at her in confusion. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have wired you money!”
“I didn’t want to add to your worries. Also, it’s really hard to contact anyone when you don’t have a phone or a laptop. Anyway, it all worked out.” Mia adjusted her legs against the starchy sheets. “Do you think I fell for him because of the... situation? Nothing like that has ever happened to me and I didn’t feel like myself. I still don’t. It’s like I’m under a spell.”
“Maybe.” Kati shrugged. “Does it matter? You only need to worry about whether it has legs.”
“And you hope it doesn’t, right?” Mia twisted her mouth. “Because he’s so inconveniently located.”
“Um... guilty. But I’m okay that you’re not with Mikko. He was always so...”
“Boring?”
“I was going to say clenched.”
“What?”
Kati’s hand flew to her mouth, unable to stop the eruption of giggles. “He was always... clenching his butt cheeks. I often joked about it with Tommi.” She wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have said that. He’s a smart guy, so driven.”
Mia couldn’t help laughing along. “I can’t say I ever noticed, but he does prefer those jeans that hang loose so it’s hard to tell.”
“Sorry,” Kati hiccupped. “I think I am really hormonal. That’ll be my excuse from now on.”
Mia threw herself across the foot of the bed, her head half-hanging over the edge. “Can I use the same excuse? Like, on the account of being hopelessly in love?”
“Sure, why not. That messes up your brain. Does he... feel the same?” Kati’s voice lowered, gathering gravity.
“He... hasn’t said as much, but I think... I don’t know. I’m probably delusional because of the hormones, but I’m pretty sure he was going to say something at the airport, but he’s not really someone who enjoys crowds, or long-distance travel—”
“He doesn’t like travel?” Kati’s voice rose an octave and she shushed herself, throwing a cautious look at the baby, who remained asleep. “How’s that ever going to work?”
“It’s not!” Mia rolled over on the bed, sudden pain searing through her body. “It’s a fucking disaster. I honestly feel like my heart’s been split open and I’ll never be okay. Nothing will ever be okay again.” The tears came without warning, shaking her whole body.
Kati leaned forward, awkwardly patting her arm. “I can’t reach you with this stomach,” she complained. “Get over here.”
Mia snuggled up to her sister, resting her head against the cotton shoulder of her hospital gown. Nice and absorbent.
“So, you’re crying now?” Kati whispered, stroking her hair. “Wasn’t there a time when you... didn’t?”
“Yeah. It all happened there. It’s all thanks to him. That and the music, the songs... he knew how to play them, he opened my eyes to all that. I want to write more songs, I want all these things... But I don’t want any of it without him.”
Kati held her for a moment, softly and firmly like a baby. Quiet footsteps echoed in the hallway, passing their room. The street behind the window was getting another dusting of snow.
“Then you probably have to go back.” Kati’s voice held a tinge of regret, but she topped it with a smile. “It might crash and burn, but if you don’t give it a go, you’ll be left forever wondering. And that’s worse.”
Mia sat up, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. “Yeah. Want to hear the worst part?” The thought hit her just as she said those words, solidifying like a bitter taste in her mouth.
“What’s that?”
“I have to take a job at Mikko’s start-up.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s the only offer I have, and I need to make some money, quick.”
