Page 89 of Feeling the Heat: Part Two
I snort, but shrug, attempting to act like it isn’t delighting me to finally have the normal version of River showing up. “Could be meaner.”
River rolls his eyes. “Someone has a degradation kink.”
“Only with you, darling,” I tease. “I can’t get enough of you yelling at me to plant my seeds more efficiently.”
He scoffs, picking up his controller and facing back toward the television. “Get back to work before we waste another day.”
“Ooo, yes, sir.”
I almost miss the flush that rises on River’s throat before I turn back to get my controller. Suddenly my words feel a lot less funny and a lot more weighted.
There’s a squirmy, hot sensation in my gut as I try not to freak myself out. Ever since my late-night potential bisexual awakening conversation with Camille, I’ve been so fucking confused. I read too much into every interaction with Ambroseand River. I notice attractive things about them that in the past I thought was objective, aesthetic appreciation. But with Camille moving in and us all focusing our energy on making her feel at home, I’ve shoved examining it to the recesses of my mind.
And now I’m staring at River like a weirdo while I have another moment of gay panic. I yank my gaze away, clearing my throat as I grab my controller and subtly slide down the couch to put space between us again.
My skin feels too tight as I stare at the screen, unseeing. “You know what? I’m gonna go grab a snack real quick before the next day.” My controller clatters against the coffee table as I toss it back down in my hurry to get away so I can cool off.
“Good thinking. I should eat something so I can take some meds.” River stands and stretches with a groan, the motion making his shirt rise and expose a sliver of his taut stomach.
Don’t stare at him!
I nod and head toward the kitchen, pulse pounding as I feel his presence behind me.
Act normal, stop being so weird, for the love of god.
I open the fridge door and peer inside, the cool air helping to ground me as I reach in to grab a protein shake. When I step back to close the door, I bump into River, who must’ve been looking into the fridge over my shoulder. My back collides with his front, and I let out an undignified squeak as the bottle in my hand tumbles to the ground.
“Shit, sorry!” River bends over to pick it up for me.
I’m sweating even more as it puts his ass on full display for me to look at. I’ve seen him naked multiple times now. I know how nice of an ass he has. Objectively. He objectively has a nice ass, and I’m staring, andfuck, did my dick just twitch? I’m wearing sweatpants. I can’t get a chub right now!
He hands the bottle to me, and I crack it open, using the excuse of throwing away the plastic seal to put some distance between us. River turns back to the fridge, sighing heavily as he surveys the contents.
“Nothing good?” I ask, willing myself to stop being so weird.
River closes the refrigerator and shrugs. “Eh, sometimes when I’m in pain it makes me a little nauseous, and nothing is appealing. I think maybe I’ll do a gummy instead; the pain isn’t awful.”
“You sure? I can make you something. You usually do okay with pancakes when you’re queasy, right?”
A hesitant smile curves across River’s lips. “Yeah…”
I wait for him to protest like he usually does. And wait.
Holy shit, he’s letting me make him pancakes. The surge of happiness inside me is strong enough that I know he can feel it.
“Pancakes coming right up!”
Having a task to do will help. Can’t panic about thinking your best friend’s ass is nice in a way that makes your dick perk up when you’re making pancakes.
“Can I help?” River asks as I pull ingredients out of the pantry and fridge.
“Nah, you can sit your butt down and chill.” Your very nice butt. So much for not thinking about it.
River chuckles and ignores me, going over to the cabinet to grab plates. “Are you having some too?”
I glance at the protein shake I left on the counter, then at the mixture I’m whisking together. My stomach rumbles. All the empty carbs will fuck up my macros, but I’m getting to the point where I don’t really give a shit about how cut my abs are or my gains. I don’t want to deprive myself of the joy of sharing good food with my pack for the sake of some bullshit inferioritycomplex I developed as a teen when I didn’t present as an alpha. I want to live my life. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone other than that I’m a good packmate and a good person.
Damn, who knew a question about pancakes would be so deep?
