Page 12 of Love Beyond Repair
Before I could respond, he walked away, leaving the scent of aftershave and resentment in his wake. And I was left staring at the back of a man who had no right to question who I spoke to. I flipped him the bird, but he didn’t see it. Though it made me feel a little better.
Kelsey was sitting on a plastic chair near the door when I found her. She looked exhausted, which was to be expected. She had a young child to care for while working as a nurse. Her eyes were heavy, and it looked as though she had been crying. Ben was now standing at the bar with Terry. I sat down next to his wife.
“You alright?” I asked. Our relationship had been civil in recent months, but I kept my distance. Today, she looked like she needed a friend. I felt I should try.
“Yes, fine, I’m just ready for home.” She didn’t bother hiding the glare she shot toward Ben. “He’s called a taxi for me.”
She stood, marching toward the exit of the hall. Ben scurried out after her.
Ten minutes later, he returned, re-joining Terry at the bar. His shoulders slumped, the swagger gone. Amy lingered beside me, her eyes fixed on the scene playing out. I turned to her.
“What’s this all about?” I asked. She paused, clearly deciding how much honesty I could handle. “Amy, is everything alright?”
“They had a fight,” she said, her tone measured. I raised an eyebrow, silently asking for more information. “They had a fight about you.”
“Me?” I squawked. “What about me?”
She sighed, shrugging, obviously deciding that it would make her life easier just to tell me.
“About the way Ben watches you.”
I looked at her, perplexed. “The way he watches me?”
“Yes, Bex,” she snapped as if she was exasperated I wasn’t immediately on the same page. “Don’t tell me you don’t notice the way his eyes follow you around the room. The obvious jealousy when he sees you talking to another man. The fact you’re his ex-girlfriend, and he still has feelings for you.”
I laughed, not believing a word. It was absurd.
And yet, pathetically, it sparked a flicker of hope that what we shared was real—if only for a while. That I hadn’t imagined the whole damn love story.
“He left me, Amy.” I opened my arms wide to exaggerate my point. “I’m a single loser at my high school reunion with two couples. He walked away and never looked back.”
She shook her head. “If that’s what you see, Bex, you’re even more stupid than I thought.” Then she turned on her heel and walked away.
I looked up, and Ben was there watching me. How long had he been standing there? His face told me he heard the entire exchange.
“Is it true?” I stammered.
He lifted an eyebrow. “Is what true?” he responded smoothly. “The fact I fought with my wife? Or the fact I still have feelings for you?”
My heart stopped. His grin was too loose, his stance too casual. The sort of intoxicated state where you unwittingly reveal your secrets. The ones you want no one else to know.
“Well, any of it?” I answered sharply, more sharply than needed. His cool eyes surveyed me as if considering what to say next. The gym reeked of stale beer and teenage nostalgia. People danced like they were trying to forget they had mortgages. I wasn’t one of them.
He walked forward, pressing us together.
“What do you think, Bex?” His question was an unspoken answer rather than a query. We both knew it was all true. For a second, I wanted to forget everything. To lean in, to believe we could rewrite it all with one kiss. Hiswords made it so easy to forget everything that came after us. But I couldn’t. Not that night. Not there. After the reunion, he would go home to his family while I lay in bed alone. So I tried to deflect, change the subject, move away from what was both comforting and painful.
“I think this is wrong.” The words bit out one by one. “Unfair.”
“What’s unfair…” he slurred. “Is that this is where we’ve ended up. With a wall between us. Apart when we should be together.”
“You made your choice,” I whispered, but I didn’t know if he heard me. I’d already started walking away. I had to, because if I hadn’t, I may have made a decision I would live to regret.
Chapter seven
September 2006
Bex
