Page 11 of Love Beyond Repair
July 2006
Bex
Relief pulses in my veins as I reread the letter that landed on my doormat. I consider pouring myself a glass of bubbly to celebrate. It’s ten o’clock in the morning. It was my drunken behavior that got me into this mess. Well, that and the part of me that still can’t say no to Ben. But it’s still ridiculous that I even consider it.
Dear Miss Corrigan,
We have concluded the investigation into your behavior outside academy hours. After consulting with the parents’ association and your colleagues, we have agreed you may return to your post as Director of English.
We accept your admission of having issues regarding alcohol and have arranged ten weeks of support to help you accomplish your goal of being able to stop drinking permanently.
Please note, we have reinstated you in your role for a six-month probationary period. There will be an evaluation at the end of this period to complete any future steps required.
I look forward to seeing you back at Hilltop Manor when school restarts in September.
Kind Regards,
John Fraser
Principal of Hilltop Manor Academy
Before now, everything else in my life was chaos. But teaching? That I could rely on. I know how to hold a classroom together, even when the rest of my life is falling apart. It’s the one part of me I live with confidence, the one skill I know I don’t suck at.
Now, I know I must cut all ties with Ben and Kelsey. It was ridiculous to think we could be friends after all the drama that had gone on between us over the years. I never intended to love a married man; that was never supposed to be me. The buried connection between Ben and me never waned over the years. But since he married, we’ve only slept together that once.
When they were separated. Though there have been a few near misses.
The first time was about two years after their wedding. There was a school reunion taking place, and we all went along.
Amy couldn’t wait to parade Terry in front of the girls who used to make her cry in junior year. He had finally gotten his act together, holding down a regular job at the local theater. They were living together in a one-bedroom apartment near me. Life seemed to fall into place for them. Constant whispers were flying around that he was going to pop the question. Though, he still hasn’t yet.
Ben and Kelsey had been married for two years with a beautiful daughter already. In true teenage dream fashion, she had fallen pregnant on their honeymoon. Savannah was now eighteen months old and a bubbly, blonde-headed little cherub.
Watching them together—him with someone else, the child that could’ve been ours—shattered me more than I ever let on. It was one thing to lose him. It was another to watch the life you dreamed of unfold without you.
No relationship I’ve had has ever come close since. Even being in the same room as him was a hit of dopamine. A glance. A breadcrumb I was always too willing to follow.So I continued to socialize with the group. Lust after him from afar. Sometimes, I’d feel him looking, and I wouldwonder if he missed me. It would feed the little hope I had that maybe our strained situation wasn’t the end.
The night of the reunion had been a lot of fun. The drinks flowed while people swapped stories of failed jobs and marriages. Suddenly, a tap on my shoulder grabbed my attention. I spun around to stare into deep green eyes. They belonged to Max. He was tall and dark, with a warm complexion that made you think of sunnier places. He smiled, then pulled me into an enormous bear hug.
“Bex Corrigan, you look mighty fine,” he said, giving me a cheeky wink. I laughed and cuddled him again. It was so good to see a friendly face. “It’s been too long, gorgeous.”
“Max, how are you? Life treating you well?”
We chatted idly about our lives, where we lived, and our families. It turned out we were both still single, stuck in a group of friends who were all in couples. He taught too, between flights, festivals, and the kind of sunburns that came with a carefree life I couldn’t imagine anymore. In some ways, it sounded as if he had never grown up. His life was full of beaches and cocktails. We swapped numbers and agreed to meet up later for a drink. I was almost excited about the prospect.
“Not a bad night,” I giggled to myself, then I felt his presence before I saw him.
“New crush?” I turned to find Ben standing behind me, pint in hand, watching Max disappear into the crowd.
“Old friend,” I said, too lightly. Trying to sweep whatever he saw under a magical carpet. He knew damn well who Max was; we all went to school together, though they weren’t friends. “We were just catching up.”
He didn’t smile. Just took a long sip of his pint.
“Didn’t realize you were close.”
“We’re not,” I replied, voice sharp. My defenses rising instantly.
He tilted his head. “Could’ve fooled me.”
