Page 39 of The Price of Mercy
To be fair, I guess we toyed with her first.
Wincing, I can’t stop the truth from tumbling out. “I’m not good for you.” My breath hitches on the wordI. Surely, I meantwe.We’re not good for her. Kane or me or Sam. We pretend to have her best interests at heart, but the reality is that every one of us is selfish. It doesn’t matter who the bottle lands on when Mercy spins it—her only options are men who can’t wait to sink their teeth into her.
I draw in a ragged breath as a harsh tremor courses through my body. This entire time, I’ve thought that I’m better than Sam or Kane for giving into their baser desires. But… maybe I’m just like them, after all. That’s why she should run. I’m not good for her, and she’s not good for me.
She entices every one of my demons to come out and play.
Mercy falls silent for a single, blissful moment. If my arms were free, I’d snap them closed and catch her, the two of us tumbling to the floor and knocking our bones together, breathless and free to do whatever we want with the other.
My fingers itch for the knife.
One deep cut, and I’d break free from her bonds.
I could move out of the city and pretend that none of this ever happened. In a matter of weeks, I’d forget all about Mercy Morningstar and her ethereal beauty, haunting gaze, and broken heart. If we had to, Kane and I could run forever to be free from her memory. I’d do it for him. I’d doanythingfor him.
But that’s precisely the problem. He’s the reason we’re trapped in Mercy’s web, each of us dying for a taste of her ruby red lips.
Right?
The lines of blame criss-cross in my mind as Kane comes into focus across the room. It’s his fault that we’re in this mess to begin with. Then it’s mine. Or it’s Sam’s. I’ve spent so long blaming Mercy that even that doesn’t feel right anymore, with her weight on my lap and her breath in my lungs. The poison ofher lips hovering so close to mine, making me see things. Feelthings. Fuck.
My vision blurs as my frustration mounts. Maybe we’re all a little fucked up, and this is our punishment—circling the drain together as we fall to pieces one agonizing rotation at a time.
Mercy’s delicate eyebrows furrow. “Okay, so you’re not good for me. What else?”
Exasperated, I toss my head back and laugh. A twisted torrent of emotions swirl in my chest, each one darker than the last. Self-loathing clings to me like a second skin. “What do you want me to say?” Baring my teeth, I feel that hatred sink its fangs into the walls of my heart and rip it open. “That I hate myself? That I hateyou?”
“I don’t believe you.” Mercy slides her palm between us and presses it flat against my chest, directly over my heart. It trills beneath her touch, aching and raw.
Kane never does this to me. He doesn’t tear me apart to figure out why I do what I do, and I’d never dream of doing that to him, either. We work because we accept each other as we are, no questions asked. No questionsneeded.I love him exactly as he is. Why can’t Mercy leave me alone if she doesn’t like what she sees? If she’s digging into my psyche for a redeeming quality, she’s not going to find one.
“I think you’re scared.”
I lash out the only way I can: with words. “And I think you’re a dumb bitch.” Even if it isn’t true, she flinches like I’ve slapped her, but I’m too wound up to feel bad about it. I keep going. “You still wanna diagnose me? Try to fix me?” I scoff, thinking she’ll finally get the fuck off of me, but she recovers and digs the tips of her fingers into my muscles. It hurts. Everything hurts when she’s this close to me. “Stop touching me.”
She blows out a breath. “Tell me the truth and I will.” With a shake of her head, she flicks the thick curtain of her hair over her shoulder and sends a wave of lavender my way.
I choke on the scent as the memory of her sleeping like the dead flashes into my mind. I should have killed her that night in her bedroom. So many missed opportunities! I’d been tempted but too scared of pissing Kane off to go through with it.
“None of this would be happening if you’d just disappear.” Meeting her gaze, I smile coldly up at her. The siren that lured the love of my life away from me. The woman haunting every dark corner of my life. “Every time I see you, I get this feeling in my chest.” Pulling at my restraints, I hiss at the flare of pain as the ropes dig into my skin. “Kane won’t let you go.”
If there was ever any doubt, there isn’t anymore.
We’re going to die because of how much Kane wants her. Samuel Wright will kill us the moment he decides to reclaim his son, and I’ll be tossed into a grave with both my lover and my ruin, forever stuck in the middle of their tragic love affair. “He choseyou,” I gasp, desperately trying to keep a sob at bay. “He chose you over me.”
Fuck, it hurts even more to say it out loud.
“That’s fucking stupid.” Kane’s face, red with rage, suddenly appears over Mercy’s shoulder. “You went after Mercy because you threw a goddamn tantrum? Because you can’t fucking share?” He runs his fingers through his honey hair and tugs on the ends. “I told you already. I love you. Mercy is never going to change that.”
“She already has! You—” I blink away tears. A flush rises to my cheeks. Anger and embarrassment andso much fearmake it hard to breathe. My breathing shallows, my pulse skyrockets, and my vision blurs. I can’t fucking do this. I can’t be here with them. But I can’t leave Kane, either, or he’ll die. Samuel will break down the door and hold a gun to Kane’s head?—
“Zane!” Mercy latches onto me and holds on impossibly tight. “You’re hyperventilating.”
From somewhere far away, Kane confirms that I’m having a panic attack. He grabs my hands and squeezes. “Get up, Mercy. I’m cutting him loose.”
She ignores Kane and holds onto me even tighter. “I’m not letting go.” Her cheek presses against mine. “You hear me, Zane? I’m not letting you do this. You’re not allowed to self-destruct just because life doesn’t go as planned.”
“Fuck—” I hiss through clenched teeth—“you!” I can’t breathe. I can’tfuckingbreathe. What the hell does she know about anything? My life is far from perfect, but thanks to my tireless efforts over the years, I’ve managed.We’vemanaged. Ever since Kane got out of juvie and we aged out of foster care, I’ve worked my ass off to keep us under the radar and out of trouble. That year apart was the worst year of my life. I sure as shit didn’t plan on spiraling while he was away. Dropping out of high school wasn’t planned, either, but we earned our GEDs and made it work. Murdering people for fun—that wasn’t exactly on my bingo card, but do you see me crying about it?No, I roll with whatever punches Kane throws, because he’s it for me. My past, present, and future. I don’t need anyone else to survive. Especially not some meddling, sad-eyed angel of darkness who makes me feel so?—
