Page 48 of Moonstruck at Midnight
“So, you were drunk?” he asked. I denied it because it wasn’t true. Thomas sighed with exasperation and straightened himself in his seat. I wasn’tdrunkin the way he was asking. I was fully aware and in control the whole time. It’s as if he wanted me to tell him I was super drunk so that he could have an actual reason to make a fuss out of nothing.
His speculations were annoying, and my answers were slowly dripping with indignation—hoping he’d notice it and turn it down a few notches.
“At least Aaron and Caleb were there to take care of you,” he said with ironic relief.
But of course, he would go there!
In a dramatic turn of events, I decided to give myself up instead of getting away with it by simply nodding—essentially cuffing myself and throwing away the key.
“I went on my own,” I confessed to thecrime.Thomas shook his head slowly, looking at the floor as if he were discovering a newfound ability that consisted of willing things to combust on themselves. A deep frown drew between his eyes.
“I don’t like this, Billie. I don’t like this at all.”
I didn’t understand what the problem was. Thomas had made it clear he didn’t like or approve of it. But again, why? Did he only date girls with bodyguards? How did he cope with situations like these before?
Shameful guilt slithered around me as I remembered how William threw himself at me becauseI didwonder what that kiss might’ve felt like if I hadn’t pulled away. One too many times—more than I should’ve.
Maybe Thomas was right, and I was in dire need of twenty-four-hour surveillance in the interest of being a complacent girlfriend. But I did pull away from thatmenacing,threatening,imminent kiss,and that ought to count for something, right?
Having drifted away into thought, I ushered my mind to come back online.For how long has Thomas been staring?
“I don’t like you going to parties on your own and getting drunk with dudes.”
I stared back after having winced almost imperceptibly—that tone.
“I don’t think you’re listening,” I replied with a lazy frown, introspecting, after realizing that our conversation was redundant. Nothing he said was new to me, and he was making me feel like shittoo.
“Damn it, Billie!” Thomas shouted and banged his hand on the coffee table, making me shy a few inches away from him. He then rested his elbows over his knees and angrily ran his fingers through his hair. This exaggerated reaction was unlike him, and I pondered for a few seconds on other factors that might be triggering his behavior.
The envelope hiding right beneath Thomas’s seat had a beating heart of its own. With every throb and pulse resonating inside my head, I somehow feared it would grow feet and crawl from underneath him to reveal itself. It wouldn’t surprise me if it were programmed to do so.
“Promise me you won’t go anywhere without me.” His gaze begging every word to me.
“I—don’t understand what you’re asking, Thomas,” I asked for clarification because after seeing him react, I couldn’t keep assuming things. I needed to knowexactlywhat he meant and what he needed to be at peace.
“I can’t lose you.” He grabbed his cap and placed it backward on his head. His response led to my initial suspicion: he was feeling jealous and insecure.
I kept uselessly insisting on how it wasoneparty I had gone to on the rooftop of the building I lived in and questioned him why on Earth he would lose me tothat? Why the lack of trust?
“I love you.” I really did, and he needed to hear that—to remember that.
“I’m sorry. I love you too. Come here.” He stood up and opened his arms for me, an invitation to embrace him. I rose from my seat and slowly walked into his arms, making sure that the storm had passed.
“I’m sorry, babe. I’m just bushed from the trip. You know I trust you.” He continued apologizing as he held the hug.
“Is everything okay at home, Thomas?” I pressed my good cheek firmly against his chest. “You know you can talk to me.” His heart fluttered from the previous agitation.
I could tell he was having mood swings and frequently displaying an unhealthy amount of jealousy. In my opinion, his reaction wasnotnormal. There had to be something going on for him to snap like that. He startled me when he hit the coffee table. That got me speculating on what his reaction would’ve been like if he knew what went down with William.
“It’s my mom. She’s not been doing so well lately,” he finally admitted. “She’s been asking me to come home for the summer. I told her about how I’d rather stay here with you, but she keeps insisting, and I’ve been trying to avoid going back altogether.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that.” I was genuinely worried. “As much as I’d love for you to stay here with me, I wouldn’t mind if you went to see her. She might need you. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know yet. I could go for the three weeks that your summer course lasts. I have a single scull in D.C., so I could train while I’m there too, which would be convenient.” He reached out to embrace me once again. “I’m not sure if I want to leave you yet.”
If my mother would still be alive, I’d want to see her, especially if she were begging me to go. His family situation was complicated, but it made me think about how we tend to take people and things for granted.
“If you don’t go now, you won’t see her until Thanksgiving, and that’s a long time. I think you should seriously consider going, even if it’s only for a few days.”
