Page 121 of Heartstruck at Dawn
Caleb suppressed a smile and lifted a brow. “Let me know if you need anything,” he said, looking at William one last time. “We’ll be—”
“Downstairs,” I finished the sentence with a laugh. He laughed back and turned around to leave. “Caleb!” He looked over his shoulder, holding the emergency exit door handle. “And just for the record … you’re wrong.”
He knew what I meant by that. And I wanted so badly for him to be wrong about my heart being so painfully torn in half.
Caleb smiled one of his cocky smiles and said, “Red, I’m always right.”
THIS NIGHT WASlike a four-dimensional video game, one where I kept jumping over hurdles, avoiding obstacles, wanting to quit a few times, looking for a lifeline. It’d just been one thing after the other.
I’d come out emotionally worn but triumphant after finishingCaleb’s leveljust now, but William was waiting outside my door for the final boss fight. And from experience, I knew it was probably going to be set to expert mode.
“Hey,” William said, standing up straight. “I beat you here.”
I hadn’t seen him leave the afterparty. “Well, that’s because Cooper thinks he’s Fittipaldi,” I replied, walking up to him. He was blocking my door but stepped aside when I reached him.
“Can I talk to you?” William asked as I unlocked the door and opened it just a tad.
I held the doorknob for a few seconds before replying, “Sure,” and turned around to face him.
“You’re not a game I like to play. I do care,” he said, looking down into my eyes. “I’m sorry about today. I know the red carpet was probably too much for you. But I’m used to that sort of thing, and I shouldn’t have forced you into it like I did. It kinda seemed like a good idea at the moment—to have you there standing next to me.”
How was I to remember I was furious when he kept saying distracting things to me?
Fo-cus.
“And the fact that Nathan’s going to be hurt by those photographs? I’ve seen them. My friends are going crazy over them. Wondering. Speculating. I don’t even want to know what my father will say either.”
“Well, forgive me if I don’t give a fuck about Nathan. Because I don’t.”
I shook my head, unable to believe what I was hearing.
“Why do you even bother? Since the day we met, you’ve been getting in the way of my relationships. And then I broke up with Thomas, which I thought you wanted, and you—pushed me away and ran back toErinbecause you couldn’t listen to me?
“You like pursuing me when I’m not available for you. So now you’re trying to, I don’t know, sabotage my relationship with Nathan, only so you can run away after I’m single and it’s no longer exciting for you? What the hell do you want from me, William?”
“Nathan’s the one getting in the way ofourrelationship,” he snapped back with a tense jaw. “Wehappened first. And I’ve told you more than a few times already. I thought you wanted to get back together with Thomas.”
I parted my mouth to speak, but he lifted his hand and closed his eyes for a second, his way of asking me to give him a chance to talk. So I shut my mouth and let him carry on.
“We had this—perfect night at the cottage, and then you got into that cake mishap, and I was so fucking worried all day at work that I couldn’t even say my lines, but I got my shit together to get off the set, to rush back to you.
“And then I step into your bedroom, and Thomas is all over you and shit,” he said, almost infuriated, but he took a deep breath and leveled his tone. “I washurt. My stupid ego was hurt, and I was embarrassed and all that emotional crap because I didn’t want us to be a one-night thing. I allowed myself, foronce, to believe”—he ran a hand through his soft golden hair, down the back of his neck with frustration—“that you might be … it.
“And I tried moving on because I’d never felt so helpless. But I failed. I keep failing because Iknowyou want this as much as I do. And I can’t stop thinking about how fucking perfect all my nights would be with you in them.”
He stopped himself for a second, allowing the information he’d thrown in my face to sink in. But he kept going even when I wasn’t sure if I was ready for him to do so. It didn’t seem to me like I had any other option but to keep listening.
“The overpowering feeling of having you in my house, in my bedroom, in my bed. And to be able to actually talk to someone—toyou. To kissyou… that was perfect,” he said, his voice getting softer. “But, don’t you want more?” He took a step closer to me, trying to make a point. “Don’t youneedmore? Because I know I do, and I feel like we deserve to giveusa chance.”
Asolidpoint.
The heat radiating off his body and the raw honesty exuding from his words were almost palpable. And then he took another step too close—too damnclose.
“I told you I would back off whenever you told me to do so, and you still haven’t been able to tell me to do it—with honesty,” he said. “I can see the way you look at me. And you’re not exactly telling me to fuck off.” He chuckled. “Even if sometimes you might feel like telling me something in that line. Like today. I know I deserved it.”
I was trapped in the tide, trying to come out for air only to have a wave of thoughts, one after the other crashing above me and forcing me back down. But I somehow found letters to make words to put into a sentence.
“I-I love Nathan—we’re happy.” I looked up at his face with a frown.
