Page 133 of Awestruck at Dusk
Luna. I knew she chose that password because of her girlfriend Luna, but still, Luna means moon. My heart warmed up—a good omen.
The sound of crashing waves was heard throughout most of the place as Arno guided me to William’s room—it helped ease my nervousness. He explained how there were only thirteen individually styled bedrooms in the hotel. But they were fully booked. I was sure Alice could help me find another nearby hotel in case everything went to shit.
We walked through a hallway that was basically a colorful, modern art gallery with walnut parquet floors. Incredible. The place smelled delicious too. You could tell every detail had been meticulously taken care of in this place. It was a mixture of homey and luxury with a lot of local inspiration.
We arrived at William’s room, and Arno nodded once and excused himself.
I knocked on William’s door and crossed myself. I swear it was my mom who made me do it.
Dentist
WILLIAM OPENED THEdoor, holding what seemed to be a script in his hand and wearing his black acetate glasses. It was the first time I saw him wearing them. Do I even have to say how cool and strikingly handsome he looked?
“Guille?” William leveled me with a panic-filled look. He’d left the door wide open, and I could see his room, but no signs of anyone else in there. There was a single chair out on the balcony, a bunch of papers, and a bottle of wine on a small round table beside it. A soft, cool breeze blew in through his room. I could hear the waves crashing against rocks beyond the cliff.
He didn’t invite me in. Instead, he said, “What are you doing here?” rolling up the papers in his hands and crossing his arms at his chest.
“I came here to tell you that I love you,” I said, dropping my bag over my suitcase and looking straight into his eyes. “I’m here to tell you that I miss you. That I can’t stop thinking about you as much as I’ve tried for over a year now, and I’m finally able to accept it.”
William stared at me in silence. I kneaded my hands and looked down for a second, trying to collect my thoughts. To allow the nerves to settle.
“You’re it for me, William. So that’s what I’m doing here. I’m here, all alone, to ask you if there’s still a chance for me to beitfor you too.”
William dragged a hand through his hair and asked, “Where’s your security detail?” He stuck his head out and looked at both sides of the corridor. “Are they downstairs?”
That’s not what I wanted to hear at all. I could already feel the courage I’d manage to summon melting away from me. I knew that it wasn’t going to be easy. William wasn’t going to start jumping up and down once I poured my heart out to him. He’d done it in the past a few times, and I was stupid enough to doubt my feelings.
I sighed. “No, they’re not.” I looked up to meet his sky-blue eyes again. “I’m herealone. And I’m sure they must’ve figured it out by now that I came here, so it might be safe to say someone’s on their way to get me.”
“You’re shitting me.” William let out a breath through his nose and pulled off his glasses, shock taking over his features. I shook my head twice. Slowly.I shit you not. He grabbed my bag and rolled my suitcase inside with a frown. “Come in.”
I walked in, taking in the place. His suite was huge and impressive. The view from what I could see from afar was breath-taking. But I stopped cold right after closing the door behind me.
“Aren’t you—dating Liam?” he asked with an incredulous, almost guarded tone. “I thought that—”
“Never,” I muttered, “because all I ever think about is you.”
William pinched the bridge of his nose and dropped the script on a table beside us, but he didn’t say a word back, so I continued with my speech.
“Liam’s just a friend. I like him.” My mouth twitched into a small smile that was filled with hope, but William’s face was still harsh.
“And what about Nathan?” he asked with a stubborn frown that was still stationed in between his brows as he ran a rough hand through his golden hair. “I saw you at the engagement party. One second, you were flirting with Liam, and the next, you left hand in hand with Nathan. I don’t even know where you stand with him.”
“Liam was just bored and trying to mess with you guys. You know how he is. And Nathan and I had a pending conversation. So we went down to my apartment to talk.”
“He proposed, didn’t he?” William asked, sweeping me from head to toe as if scanning for bullshit. “Joel told me.”
“He was going to. But I couldn’t let him go through with it. It would’ve been too painful—for both of us,” I explained. “I knew I couldn’t say yes to him because, as I said, all I’ve been doing this entire time is nothing but think about you.” I took a careful step forward. “I miss you, William.”
Something I could only recognize as pain took over William’s features.
“I hated seeing you with Nathan,” he said in a dark tone, “especially after everything that happened with Thomas. After Caleb died. Knowing how deep down you felt something for me. Something strong. And every single time you kissed him, hugged him, smiled at him in front of me … I fuckinghatedit. And then you both came to my house on Midsummer and did all of that there and rubbed it in my face—” He laughed a soft, angry laugh under his breath. “And then Zara … you kept doubting me, thinking the worst of me.
“I thought I’d been upfront with you—several times,” he continued. “And I get it. It’s not easy to be with someone like me. It takes a strong woman to ignore the chatter, the media, the paparazzi, and fully trust me, especially when I’m away for a while, working. And I thought that was you, that you and I were strong enough to deal with that. Together.” William sighed and shook his head a few times. “I guess I was wrong.”
I could feel my face crumbling, but I had to push through. Break through the new wall between us. I had to.
“Iknowyou don’t trust me anymore, and I deserve it. You’ve done nothing but prove to me time and time again that you’ve been honest with me from the start. And I—” I closed my eyes and gathered as much courage, confidence, and humility as I could. “I’m sorry,” I said, looking up into his eyes, listening to his deep breathing. “I’m so sorry about everything.”
