Page 108 of Nailing Heat
“Sorry, guys, I didn’t mean to send August away,” I say, shaking my head. “I guess I overreacted.”
“No, you didn’t. I did,” Hendrix says. “I can’t seem to control my temper when it comes to him.”
“Maybe you two should talk that out. Work on that a little bit,” Mac says, winking at her.
“No, thank you. I don’t need to work on anything with him.” She shakes her head. “And you don’t need to hang out with someone you used to date.” Hendrix turns her attention to me. “Because believe me, it isnoteasy.”
I nod. “I’m sure it is not. Even after all these years.”
“Yeah,” is all she says in return.
“I think I’m going to go check on August. You all can have your girls’ night like you thought you were going to.” Jase gets up and turns to Cassie. “I’ll see you later, sweetheart.”
Cassie stands up and kisses him quickly. “I’ll see you later.”
Once Jase is gone, I shake my head. “This is why I stay locked away in my apartment by myself. I’m not fit to be around people.”
“No, that wasn’t on you, that was on me,” Hendrix admits. “He makes me so mad, and I hate that he’s like defending Dex.”
I nod. “He has a point, though. Why am I really angry at him? He truly didn’t know he was still married, and he signed those papers right in front of me without a second thought. So why am I still punishing him?”
Mac sighs. “How long have you been thinking about that?”
“For a while,” I admit with a shrug.
“And what does it come down to?” she asks.
I grab a slice of pizza because my stomach is starting to growl smelling the aroma of it filling my living room. I sigh. It’s so freaking good. I think it’s from the same place that Dex brought me pizza from. One bite and I’m back to that night, when he first moved in and we had a carpet picnic together.
“Amelia, you good?” Cassie asks me.
“Yeah,” my voice comes out small and tired. “I’m okay. To answer your question, Mac, it’s how can I trust someone who could cheat on their wife for years and not stop. Not feel guilty about the fact that he was hooking up with women on the road while she was waiting for him at home.”
Mac nods. “True. How can you?”
“No marriage is perfect,” Hendrix begins, surprising me, considering her strong reaction to August.
“No, it sure isn’t. But you guys should have seen this woman.” I know I’ve described her before to them, but I do it again anyway. “She was tall, so freaking tall. Blonde, leggy and looks like a freaking stick. How can he marry someone like that and then date someone that looks like me? I am the complete and total opposite of her. It doesn’t even make sense!”
“You are an amazing woman. You are a beautiful woman. You should not be comparing yourself to her. No woman should be comparing herself to another woman, because we are all beautiful in our own way,” Cassie says adamantly.
“Your psych degree is showing,” Mac teases her.
“Fuck you. It’s true, though.” Cassie replies, sticking her tongue out at Mac.
Hendrix giggles. “She’s right. I don’t give a shit what this woman looked like. Dex did like you for you. And comparing yourself to his ex-wife isn’t going to help you heal and move on. If that’s what you want to do.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to move on from him?” I ask.
“Because you love and miss him,” Cassie suggests.
I shake my head. “Miss him, yes, but I’ll get over it. I have in the past, and I can do it again. From now on, I’m in a relationship with soccer.”
The three of them start laughing at me.
Mac speaks first. “We’ve all said that and been there. Look where that got Cassie and me. Do you think that we didn’t say the same thing when Jase and Danny came along? Look how well that turned out.”
“Jase and Danny are exceptions; they aren’t the rule. Dex is the rule,” I remind them. “That’s why it doesn’t matter anymore.”
