Page 86 of Her Tiger of a Duke
“It is not easy, but if you have a good run then you can make it. I did it often. The flowers there are beautiful, but I knew the danger. I forbade it, but she never liked to listen to rules. She was like you.”
“I wish I could have met her. She must have been a lovely lady.”
“She would have loved you, as well as your friends. I always wonder who she could have been had I done what I should have.”
There was her moment. Gingerly, she pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him.
“I know that I shall sound like everyone else, but you need to understand that it was not your fault. You said that she was spirited and determined, and that she longed to make that jump. Had you stopped her that day, she would only have tried another day. It was either that, or her spirit would have been broken.”
He remained quiet, but she knew he was listening to her. She hoped that he was considering her words properly, for not one word that she spoke was a lie.
“Perhaps,” she continued, “it might be best if you do not wonder who she could have been and instead remember who she was. It is a better way to honor her memory, for she would appreciate being thought of for who she was, rather than who she might have become. One does not exist, where the other does.”
“I have never considered that. I have always assumed that she would want me to live for her.”
“Then do it by living, not by inventing a life for her.”
She squeezed his hand, placing her other on his chest and looking at him with sincerity.
“Start now,” she pressed. “Remember her fondly and put the tragedy that happened in the past. You can choose which parts to hold on to, Owen. Choose them wisely.”
With the gap between them so small, it was easy for him to close it with a kiss. Beatrice was feverish, and when they pulled apart again, they made their way back to the house.
There was a renewed sense of understanding between them, and it was one that Beatrice knew would not break. They would not struggle as they had before, because there were no longer any secrets. She did not have to be the tall and slim and effortlessly beautiful duchess, and he did not have to be the untouchable and fearsome duke. They could simply be Beatrice and Owen and that would be enough.
It was, she considered, even better, for they were being their truest selves.
“You are home!” Mrs. Forsythe exclaimed when she saw them. “Did you enjoy your time away?”
They exchanged a glance and then laughed warmly. For the most part, they had. There was an awful part in between, but they had spent a night in an inn and seen their friend at her happiest and that was what she would choose to remember.
She had to follow her own advice, after all.
“We did,” Owen replied. “We will not be home for long, however, for Lady Helena is to have her child soon and she has requested that we are there with her.”
“Of course. She shall need a lady for support.”
Beatrice turned scarlet. She did not know the first thing about labor, and she did not know how much help she could possibly have been, but if Helena needed her, she would find a way to assist her.
“And then,” he continued, “my wife and I are going to at last celebrate our wedding.”
Her eyes widened, turning to him.
“I did not know we were going to do that.”
"I haven't told you yet. I thought you'd want to pick where we go. I'd like to celebrate together since we didn't after visiting the inn, and I wish we had."
“Very well. We could visit Scotland.”
“I was thinking something further. Greece, perhaps, or Spain. We are a duke and duchess, and so we ought to celebrate as such.”
There was a feeling of satisfaction at the suggestion. They could go anywhere they pleased and though daunting it was precisely what they needed. She accepted the proposal warmly, and then they left to prepare for dinner.
That night, as they sat outside in the garden, Beatrice rested her legs over his, her head on his chest. She had never felt as safe as she did at that moment, whether he understood that or not. He was the man she had always dreamed of, even if she had not known that at first.
“Do you know,” she said quietly into the night, “I am so pleased that I ruined your wedding.”
“You may not believe me, but I am inclined to agree with you. I must admit, I never would have thought when you objected that you would become the love of my life. And yet, here we are.”
