Page 59 of Sugar Rush
“Don’t!” I pleaded, injecting my voice with as much seductive cuteness as I could. I was pretty sure seductive cuteness was his weakness. “I just want to know if it was better for you because you were with me…”
To my surprise, an absolute miracle occurred right in front of me. The corner of his mouth perked up into a reluctant smile, despite the fact that he was shaking his head.
“Yes. It was better for me because it was with you,” he finally admitted. “Are you clean enough now? I don’t want to die of frostbite out here.”
I nodded to indicate he could start hauling us back. “Aren’t you going to ask if it was good for me?”
“I wasn’t planning on it,” he said. But after a few seconds of my pleading puppy eyes framed by big, blinking lashes, he sighed. “Was it good for you?”
“If I say no, will you feel honor bound to prove me wrong by doing it some more?”
He snorted. “Maybe.”
“In that case, I’ve had better.”
“I know for a fact that’s a lie.”
But a lot of the tension and agony had faded from his voice. I was sure it wasn’t completely gone, but I had helped. I’d somehow made something more bearable for him. Which, for now, felt like enough.
Breathing in the salt-soaked ocean air, I nuzzled into his shoulder as we made it back onto land and he made a beeline for our pile of clothes.
“So… Was that a no on giving me a kiss?” I wondered.
“You are aware we’re naked in the middle of a public beach.”
“I am incredibly aware of that, yes.”
“If we get caught, it’s on your hands,” he pointed out, his tone comically sober.
“I’m willing to risk it,” I assured him, still clinging to his shoulders as he carefully lowered my feet to the ground.
He stared into my eyes for so long I started to worry that maybe he’d tell me he didn’t want to. Just when my pulse started to quicken, he cupped my chin, stroking his fingers over my jaw as he leaned into me, kissing me so long and deep that my lungs started to burn.
And it was definitely worth the indecent exposure risk.
KIERAN
SITTING IN THEsimple wooden chair next to the bed where Jordy was snoozing, the sound of his soft breathing and the hum of the room’s A/C unit weren’t enough for my mind to focus on. My thoughts were always loud, but tonight it felt like my own brain was yelling at me.
It was getting pretty late, and I needed to sleep. But the thought of crawling into bed next to him felt daunting somehow. I remembered telling him at home that I wasn’t an animal, that I had control over my actions, but obviously that had been a lie. Not only had I taken his virginity on the ground outside, but I’d done it in a spiteful rage.
Not that he’d seemed to notice any of that. I hadn’t heard a single complaint from him, during or after. Once we’d rinsed off enough in the ocean and gotten dressed, I’d carried him back to the room, prompting some shocked looks from the receptionist. But he’d been kind of smug and happy about it. I ran him a warm bath and let him soak in it while I sat on the floor next to the tub and helped him pick the leaves and twigs out of his hair.
I kept waiting for the gravity of the situation to hit him, but it never did. If anything, he was more cuddly and affectionate than ever, happily chatting away about the aquarium and everything else under the sun.
And now he was sleeping peacefully, seemingly without a care in the world. He definitely wasn’t mad at me, like I’d been so sure he would be. If anything, he seemed thrilled about what had happened.
Didn’t omegas dream about losing their v-cards in dreamy, candle-lit scenarios with declarations of love and devotion? Even the ones that didn’t, I’m pretty sure they didn’t dream of losing it likethat.
But I’d been so incensed by the idea of someone else having that part of him that I’d… No, I didn’t have an excuse. A nagging voice in the back of my brain insisted that I didn’tneedan excuse. Jordy was completely fine. He was happy. He didn’t regret anything or hate my guts. That voice was probably the dark and selfish part of me that only cared about myself and my needs. That was the part of me I needed to keep him away from. Because obviously he wasn’t going to protect himself from it.
Because I couldn’t put it off any longer and because my head was starting to hurt from exhaustion, I carefully lifted up the side of the blanket and slipped under it. He didn’t even flinch. I stared at him for a while, my nerves feeling raw and ragged, until I finally dropped into unconsciousness.
I WOKE UPin one of my old houses, in one of my old beds.
I stared up at the ceiling where I’d taped a poster for a superhero series I’d loved as a kid, until I heard Jordy calling me from the living room. What was he doing here?
As I made my way out of my old bedroom, I realized my motions were sluggish, like I was moving through a vat of oil. I jumped at a flash of lightning followed instantly by an ear-shattering crack of thunder. I hated thunderstorms because my mom always waited up worrying about whether my dad would get in a car accident and not come home.
