Page 103 of Rum & Coke
But my period never came, and that caused me to become more depressed. What if I was pregnant with Sebastian’s baby? I’d be tied to him forever, and when I thought about looking at an imaginary child whom I had conceived with him, I feared I would always remember what Sebastian made me repeatedly do.
Every time he ordered me into his bedroom, I was Scarlett. I had to be. I put on a façade, pretended to not care, but I never enjoyed it. I never came, never had that shot of pleasure run through my body no matter what Sebastian did to it. I refused to let him win. He might think he had my body, but he’d never have all of it. There was only one man who would forever have my body, my heart, my love, and I’d told him what we had was essentially a lie.
“Helen,” I called to Mrs. Porter. “Can you remind me of the date?”
“It’s June twenty-ninth.”
“Right.” I smiled. I calculated the time and realized that I’d been with Sebastian for over a month and a half. A month and a half without my period. Panic started to set in. I couldn’t let Colton see me break down. Even though he was in his own world, so to speak, and also learning from Helen, I couldn’t let him see the worry on my face because even though children on the spectrum may seem as though they aren’t paying attention, they are.
I stood and walked into the open kitchen where Valentina was making dinner. In the time I’d been here, she’d become a friend, the only person I talked to. I didn’t think I could care about anyone associated with Sebastian, but I truly realized she worked for him because she thought he was a good man for rebuilding her town and getting her out of danger.
He’d never be a good man.
“Valentina,” I whispered as I stopped and stood next to her.
“Yes, Ms. Tessa?”
“Can you keep a secret?”
She stared at me for a beat. “If it’s about—”
“It’s not about Mr. Delarosa.”
Well, that wasn’t true because if I were pregnant, it would be his. Or was it? Vinny and I had had sex without a condom before Sebastian and me. But I’d never know. I wouldn’t give Sebastian any more reason to want to harm Vinny.
I thought about Vinny daily. Thought about his smile, his laugh, the way he was with Colton. I thought about how I might never see him again. I hoped he was happy. Maybe he went back to S&R and was living the life he’d had before he met me. While I hated to think of him still escorting, I had to realize it was for the best. There was no telling what Sebastian would do to him if he were still trying to get me back.
Every day while I thought of ways to get out, I thought about Melony and Sophia too. There was nothing Sophia could do, but had Melony talked to Sebastian? Asked where I was? Or was everyone really thinking I would want to be with this monster?
“Oh? Then yes. Yes, I can keep secret.” Valentina smiled.
“It’s a huge secret,” I told her.
“Okay. Tell me.” Her grin widened.
I lowered my voice. Sebastian wasn’t home, but he always had guards around. I figured they were here in case I tried to escape. Mateo was the one who went with him whenever Sebastian left the house, but I didn’t know the names of the ones who were paid to watch me. It was weird because I’d never seen Mateo at Red Diamond when I was there before, but when Sebastian left, so did Mateo.
“When you go to the store tomorrow can you get me something?”
“Si. Whatever you want. Mr. Delarosa has told me to make sure you have what you need.”
“Right, but this is something he can’t know about.”
“Oh?” she questioned, scrunching her brows.
“Not until I know for sure.”
“What do you need me to get you?”
I sighed and turned so that my back was to Helen, not wanting her to eavesdrop. She was showing Colton shapes, but I couldn’t take the chance that she was listening too. “A pregnancy test,” I whispered.
Valentina’s brown eyes widened, and she grinned as though I was her daughter telling her I was making her a grandmother. “You’re pregnant?”
“Shh,” I scolded. “Please don’t say anything. I want to make sure before I tell Sebastian.”
“Si, of course. I can go right now if you’d like. The meat is marinating.”
“Okay, yes. Please go now.”
