Page 83 of Addicted to You
“I do,” I agreed quickly. “And I’m proud of you. But I also know how easy it is to replace one addiction with another. I can’t be your crutch.”
Silas flinched. “You’re not. I’m choosing you because I love you. Because I want you. Not because I need you tostop me from using.” He pulled the baggie from the trash and shook it in front of us. “I didn’t buy this. I don’t fucking want it, and I never want to see Donnie Pierce again.”
Without another word, he went into the bathroom. I heard the toilet seat hit the tank. As I peered around the corner, I saw him dumping the powder into the bowl and then flushing it.
He turned back and met my gaze. “I don’t want that shit. I want you.”
My chest tightened. He’d just thrown away the drugs in front of me like they were nothing—like he wanted me to see that I mattered more.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” I admitted.
He stepped closer. “I want you to say you’ll give us a chance. That you won’t run just because it’s not easy.”
“It’s not just about it being hard. It’s—” I hesitated and then sighed. “You probably don’t want to hear this, but I was in love with your sister too. I followed her across the country because I thought she was my future. And now … now I’m standing here, falling for you, and it scares the hell out of me. What if I’m repeating the same mistake?”
Silas searched my face. “Do you love me?”
“Yes, I love you, but I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust that I’m not just chasing after another Hale.”
“I’m not Britt.”
“I know.” I exhaled as I dragged a hand through my hair. “And I’m not in love with her anymore. But I can’t pretend like it doesn’t mess with my head.”
“Tell me what you want, Cash. Not what you think you should do. Not what makes the most sense. Just tell me whatyouwant.”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Because what I wanted—whoI wanted—wasn’t like any other relationship I’d ever had and that scared me. But having him fight for us made me realize what we had was real.
“I want you,” I admitted. “I want to be with you. But I don’t know how to make it work.”
He let out a breath. “We don’t have to have all the answers right now. We just have to stop pretending this isn’t happening.”
I searched his face. Maybe Iwastired of pretending. We were no longer having secret hook ups, and I was done fighting how I felt about him.
So, I kissed him.
I pulled him against me, threading my fingers through his hair as he kissed me back. He spun me until my back hit the bed. I pushed his chest slightly. “We don’t have time for that. I need to get back to my client.”
“Okay. Can I see you tomorrow?”
“Yes, I can meet you after my client goes to work.” His hands tightened on my waist, like he didn’t want to let me go. And maybe I didn’t want to let go either. But as I stood there, reality settled in and formed a knot in my stomach. “We need to tell Britt.”
“Yeah,” he said after a beat. “I know.”
“I don’t want her to hear it from someone else. And she will because if we’re photographed together, I don’t think we will be able to hide our relationship since I’m no longer your sober companion.”
He nodded. “You’re right. I just …” He let out a slow breath. “The guys will be cool with it, but I don’t know how my sister’s going to take it.”
“Neither do I,” I admitted. “But she deserves to know.”
Silas glanced away. “So, what? We’ll sit her down over brunch?”
“I don’t know. I just know we have to, so I don’t feel like I’m hiding anymore.”
“But what about the world?”
“That’s up to you. You’re the one in the spotlight.”
“Let’s just tell Britt and then my parents and go from there.”
