Page 56 of Be Your Somebody
“Right. Anyway, do you remember when you told me about your childhood a few weeks ago?” He stares at me in confusion, so I keep going. “You questioned me about my feelings and asked if I was okay, and I kept saying yes.” I search his face, watching his confusion turn to recognition.
I continued. “Well, I kind of lied. I wasn't sad, but that night after you fell asleep, I felt inspired to write. It's something I haven't been able to do since you relapsed.” A mix of sadness and guilt coats my voice. Clearing my throat, I continue. “I was so angry and hurt you chose drugs over me and every time I tried to put pen to paper, nothing would come out. I thought maybe I could write in the old notebooks, but still nothing came. So yeah, I haven't been able to write again until recently, until you.”
Finally gathering my courage, I look up at his face and see it flutter with emotions.
“I-I'm so sorry. Damn it I just…while I was using, I was only concerned with my next high. No one else mattered. The fact that you stopped writing because of me makes me feel like a huge asshole. All the apologies in the world will never fix that. I can't believe I took that away from you,” Cas says while putting his face in his hands.
“Cas, look at me.” I wait for his eyes to lock with mine before continuing. “I didn’t say any of this to make you feel bad. I said them because you deserve to know how big of a deal it is that you’re here with me now. You’ve awoken so much in me and I’m forever grateful. I asked you to come here because I wrote something for you and wanted to share it. Is that okay?”
“Yes, of course, I want to hear it. I would be honored.” When they say the eyes are the window to the soul, they weren’t kidding. A mix of love and awe swirls behind Cas’ eyes.
“Okay. It's calledStained Glass.” I hear his intake of breath. And before he can speak, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and begin to sing.
Chapter 34
Cassidy
What will I find if I keep unbuttoning?
Averygetslostinsideherself whenever she sings. My mind is a crowded mall and my thoughts are the people trying to make their way to the exit. But I push them aside to listen to her angelic voice. Avery has always been super talented when it comes to her writing. Her raw vulnerability does something to me, making me feel all fuzzy in my chest. I remember hearing her sing for the first time when we were teens and I was in awe of her then. It’s been way too long since I’ve listened to her, though. I push my shame away and let admiration wash over my body from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.
When shetold me the song's title, it sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite explain why. As the song progresses, it’s obvious who she’s singing about. Avery has always allowed her music to speak for her. She has the perfect song for every emotion she’s feeling. To hear her sing about me is a whole new experience. I didn’t think I could love this woman anymore, but here we are. I feel the cracks and bruises from years of emotional trauma begin to heal. I’m so lost in what she’s doing to me, that I didn’t even realize she stopped singing.
“Cas?” she asks hesitantly. Something in my gaze must have alarmed her because her arms were suddenly around me.
“Cas, I’m sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted you to see what I see when I look at you. I didn’t even thi—" I stop her by covering her mouth with mine. I can’t convey my thoughts and feelings into words yet, so I pour them into the kiss instead. She has to know that what she just did for me is far from upsetting.
I reluctantly pull away from her lips only to bring my hands up to either side of her face, taking a moment to stare into her eyes. She reaches up and brushes a thumb across my cheek, and when I look down, I realize it’s wet. I brush my fingers across my cheek, surprised to find them damp. No wonder she thought I was upset. I begin to clarify that they’re tears of joy, but her mouth crashes into mine, stopping me. Avery’s kiss is hungrier than mine, and it takes all my restraint to pull away. “Avery, I want this moment just as much as you, but I want—no, Ineed—to go slow.”
I chuckle as Avery lets out a frustrated whimper. She’s insatiable, but I don’t want to fuck her right here on the piano. I can feel my willpower slipping, so I stand up grab Avery by the waist and throw her over my shoulder. Avery’s laughter turns into a moan when I smack her ass. She returns the favor by grabbing my ass and the small ounce of willpower I had moments ago is almost completely gone. I bolt up the stairs and by the time I reach Avery’s bedroom, I’m simultaneously out of breath and turned on.
I gently toss Avery on her bed, watching her bounce a few times before she settles in. Fuck. This woman is breathtaking and she’s all mine. I lean down to tuck a few strands of hair behind her ear and just admire her beauty. She tries pulling me down on top of her, but I shake my head and stare at her.
“Avery, you’re so damn beautiful. You’re my safety net, and I feel seen when I stare into your sparkling green eyes. You see through all the walls I put up and through all my bullshit. You seeme. You make me feel like I deserve to be loved and, more importantly, to be loved by you.”
“Cas—" she starts to speak, but I shake my head, leaning down to press soft kisses across her face. I start at her forehead, then make my way to each eye, kissing them closed. I move my mouth to her right temple, then her left, my lips never leaving her skin. I kiss the tip of her nose, then both corners of her mouth, before capturing her in a gentle kiss. I coax her mouth open, allowing our tongues to tangle together.
Our tongues dance together in smooth, graceful strokes before impatience takes over and it turns to frantic and desperate. Her hands move quickly towards the bottom of my shirt, trying to take it off, but I bring her arms back down to her sides, cuffing her wrists with my hands. I pull my mouth from hers, only to trace her lips with my tongue, stopping in the middle of her mouth to tug her lip gently with my teeth.
The whimper that escapes her sends my body pulsing with heat. I remind myself to take it slow, no matter how badly I want to devour her. One of my hands goes to her neck, her eyes rolling back in response as she remembers the last time. She looks up at me, pure desire sparkling in her eyes. Instead of squeezing, I caress her neck, moving my hand to one side of her throat while my mouth finds the other side.
I gently tug at her ear with my teeth before moving down to the sensitive spot underneath. I know this spot gets to her because her back arches toward me and she groans. I whisper, “Iloveit when you make that sound. It makes me want to fuck you fast and hard.”
Avery looks at me with a wicked gleam, she says, “That's how I like it.”
I groan in agony. She’s killing me right now. “I promised to be gentle, and that’s what you’ll get.” I press a lingering kiss to her mouth while slowly unbuttoning her dress. “You have to know what you do to me when you wear dresses like this. So soft, free, and beautiful—just like you,” I murmur. I continue undressing her, but freeze when I get to her chest and see nothing underneath the fabric. I growl and look back up at her face. “You’re trying to kill me, aren't you? If I keep unbuttoning, will I continue to find you naked underneath?” My mouth goes bone dry and my face starts to flush.
Licking her lips, she brings my head to hers, and when I think she's going to take my mouth, she moves to the side and tugs on my ear with her teeth, whispering, “Keep going and you’ll find out soon enough.” She’s going to be the death of me, but at least I’ll die a happy man. I soon find the answer to my question as I take in her creamy skin dusted with freckles. The curve of her breasts makes me feel like a man dying of thirst, and she’s the only one who can quench it.
I slide the dress off her shoulders, pressing short, open-mouthed kisses along her neck, shoulders, and collarbone. I make my way down to her breasts, playing with one while I take the other in my mouth. She instinctively wriggles beneath me, placing her hands on my head and securing me there. Her moans increase as I flick my tongue against her nipple while thumbing the other with my hand. I tug gently with my teeth and her breathing increases.
“Cas, you’re driving me crazy. I need you now,” she huffs while her hand starts to journey towards my cock. I stop her before she gets there.
“Baby, if you do that right now, this won’t last much longer. Patience, '' I say, chuckling at her as she lets out a frustrated sigh. My hands move down to her stomach and I kiss every inch of her before I find myself at her inner thighs. My teeth graze against her soft flesh, causing her to tremble uncontrollably. I place my fingers in between her legs, teasing her inner folds. Her nails dig into my skin.
My eyes lock with hers and a smirk forms on my face before I push one finger inside her. The feeling of how wet and slick she is makes my head spin as fast as a cotton candy machine, and a groan escapes my lips. Her hand moves in an attempt to keep me inside of her, but I’m too quick. When I pull my finger out, Avery fixes me with a murderous glare. It’s adorable. I can’t help the laugh that comes out.
“Oh, is this what you want?” I ask, wiggling the finger that was just inside of her. I bring that finger to my mouth and slip it inside. “Mmmm. Damn, Avery, do you know what you taste like?”
