Page 124 of Where Do We Go From Here?
W: I suppose. I actually think we’d argue if I asked him.
K: That’s certainly a possibility. Would that be a bad thing?
W: I’m not sure it would be worse than saying nothing at all.
K: No, saying nothing can be quite painful, too.
W: So you do think I should ask him. Go on. Admit it.
K: I’m really not saying that at all. But I do think it might be a good idea for you to ask yourself why you haven’t discussed it with him. And what you might gain or lose if you did. So at least the decision to discuss it, or not discuss it, would be a conscious choice on your part.
W: Yes, I can see that. That makes sense. So do you think I’m having a breakdown? Do you think I need years of therapy?
K: Do you think you’re having a breakdown?
W:
K: That was a serious question from me to you. And one I’d very much like you to answer.
W: Honestly?
K: Yes, honestly.
W: Quite honestly, no. I think I’ve got a handle on it all, now. I’ve worked out why I’m angry. And I’ve remembered what happened and who was and wasn’t there for me. And I think I probably do need to have it out with my brother and his wife. And I think I’ve probably cracked the drinking thing. So, no. I think I’m doing OK.
K: I agree. I think you’re doing OK, too.
W: You do? Really?
K: Really.
W: You’re not just saying that?
K: No. If you truly have ceased drinking, as you say you have, on your own, without any help, then that shows quite extraordinary self-awareness and willpower. And if you’ve managed to push up the repressed trauma of your mother’s death from your subconscious – once again, on your own – then that, too, is quite impressive. So I think you’re doing incredibly well. And I think you should carry on like that. And, of course, come back to me if you need more support with any of it.
W: Gosh, that is not what I thought you’d say.
K: OK. What did you think I’d say?
W: That I need therapy for a hundred years at a hundred and twenty quid a pop.
K: Ah, well, I guess we therapists aren’t all as cynical as you assumed. Are you disappointed?
W: No. I’m a bit scared, I think. Because it all depends on me now, doesn’t it?
K: Yes, it all depends on you. But as I say, if you need help with any of it, I’m here for you. If you need help with the drinking,or if the pain of the trauma doesn’t lessen, for example, then there are techniques we can use to help that on its way. So yes, it does depend on you. But you aren’t alone. I’m here.
W: What happens if I fall off the wagon, do you think?
K: What happens if you start drinking, do you mean?
W: Yes. Do you think I can just have, like, a normal drink?
K: OK. So my best guess, from experience, would be that if you start drinking at all, you’ll be drinking heavily within days. Perhaps even within hours. I think you’d snap right back into it like before. There can be miraculous exceptions, but that’s generally how these things go.
W: So you don’t think I can go back to drinking normally?
K: That depends what you mean by normal.
