Page 116 of The Reboot
‘We have. But he wants me back.’
‘Jesus! You two would give me whiplash.’
‘I think he’s addicted to make-up sex.’ She laughed. ‘I’m a bit of a fan myself.’
‘Do you want to get back with him?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Well, I’m available for make-up sex right now.’
Her eyes dropped to his mouth, and she licked her lips.
He felt no desire – he was too numb for that – but he leaned in to kiss her again and this time she met him halfway. She ran her tongue along his bottom lip, and he shifted to get a better angle, pushing her back against the squashy sofa cushions. They both knew where this was going, but some instinct for self-preservation made him stop and pull back.
‘Maybe you’re right, this isn’t such a good idea.’ He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. ‘Do you want a drink?’
‘No, thanks. I’d better get home.’ She reached out and clasped his hand. ‘Look you’re lonely and sad, and I don’t want to be your crutch just because you’re feeling down.’
He nodded. ‘I get it. Thanks for coming over, Pippa. It was good to see you. I really needed to see a friendly face.’
‘Any time. I mean that.’ She looked at him sadly, her head cocked to the side. ‘I miss you, Roly. Call me when you’re feeling better – if you still want to.’
31
Ella toldherself her friendship with Roly wouldn’t have lasted anyway. It was never meant to be forever, and it had already long outlived its use-by date. They’d had a good run, but it was always going to peter out eventually. For some reason they’d both dragged it out beyond its natural life span, and they’d managed to sustain it for far longer than either of them could have reasonably expected. But they’d just been delaying the inevitable. It had always bewildered her how Roly, of all people, was the one person from school she’d kept up with. Their friendship had never made sense. And as for anything else…
They’d both been kidding themselves. This was a good thing, she told herself, bringing their weird dalliance to a conclusion before they got in any deeper. It could never have worked long term. A cold blast of reality was just what they needed to bring them to their senses.
It was the same self-talk she’d given herself the first time, after the fallout from Marty’s party. It was just as unconvincing now as it had been then, and, like then, she couldn’t stop crying. She dragged herself through the days, just about managing to hold it together at work, then rushing home to spend the night crying her eyes out. Getting ready for work now involved a ritual of cold facecloths and lots of camouflage work with concealers and highlighters to hide her ravaged face. She’d never spent so much time on make-up to so little effect, simply trying to achieve some semblance of normality.
It turned out she wasn’t doing as good a job as she’d thought. On Friday morning, Jake came and perched on her desk.
‘Are you okay, Ella?’ His eyes were full of concern.
‘Yes.’ She gulped. ‘I’m fine. Thanks.’Heartbroken, but otherwise fine.
‘You don’t seem yourself lately. We’re a bit worried about you.’
‘We?’
‘Me and Dylan. Kerry. All of us. We’ve noticed you’ve been … well, you look like you’ve been crying a lot.’
She nodded, tears clogging her throat and welling in her eyes. Shit! She was going to lose it completely if he was kind.
‘I don’t want to pry, but if you ever need to talk…’
‘Thanks,’ she managed to choke out. She took a deep breath and swiped at her eyes. ‘It’s just … I’ve fallen out with Roly.’
‘Oh no. I’m sorry to hear that.’
She nodded. ‘I’ve moved out. But it’s fine. I’ll be fine.’
‘You have somewhere to stay?’
‘Yes. I’m back in my mum’s house.’
‘Okay.’ He nodded. ‘Good.’ He waited a moment in silence, giving her space to talk, but when she said nothing more, he slid off the desk. ‘Well, if there’s anything we can do…’
