Page 52 of Sweet Girl
“Oh my gosh, Van. This is perfect. I absolutely love it!”
I spin toward him and wrap my arms around his back, pulling him into a hug. My face is nestled in the crook of his neck and his skin is radiating warmth, along with an intoxicating scent of a light, spicy cologne, and something distinctly Van. He turns his face so his nose is buried in my hair, just at my ear.
“I’m glad you like it.”
Van Gerard could have given me a box of rocks covered in mud and I would’ve thought they were made of gold.
“Are you going to try it on to make sure it fits? Maybe give a little twirl.” He says in a humorous manner, using his finger to demonstrate the movement, but there’s a different meaning hidden under the surface.
“You just want me to take my shirt off for you.” It’s a statement, not a question, meant to tease, but I swallow the heavy lump in my throat. There’s a serious implication there, too.
His voice is deep and raspy, his eyes narrow as he watches me. “Maybe.”
This is what I came for, I remind myself, as the nerves begin take shape inside me. My hands tremble lightly as I set the shirt down on his knees and begin to unbutton the blouse I’m wearing. I watch as his eyes as they track my movements, starting at my collarbone and working their way down to the last button. I give my bottom lip a bite, as I peel back the shirt tabs, exposing my belly and my bra-covered breasts.
I’m standing within reaching distance of him, as he raises his hand, the tips of his fingers spanning out against my sternum. I suck in my belly with my gasp. He draws a path toward my center with his calloused index finger, circling my navel before he leans forward to lick it. My breath hitches in a gasp as he moans against me.
“I love your outtie. It’s so fucking sexy.”
His compliment has me consumed with need as the weight of his hands circle my waist, pulling me toward him, his legs opening into a V so I can wedge between them. He’s a little more than eye level to my breasts and he takes full advantage. One hand dutifully cups my lime-green demi-bra, his thumb skimming over my nipple which immediately pebbles under his touch.
In order to aid things along, as well as keep my hands occupied, I reach behind my back to unclasp my bra, letting it fall down my arms and onto his lap. We both look down at the discarded lingerie, briefly staring at it, until he lifts his heavily darkened gaze again to my naked breasts. The warmth and admiration in his eyes has me shuddering with pent-up need. I wonder if it’s possible come from just a look.
I’ll never know the answer to that, because he resumes his adoration of my breasts, both hands now playing with them. Squeezing, plumping, lifting, sucking. All of it makes my legs shake from the exquisite feel of his touch. I arch my back when he bites my nipple between his teeth and the movement presses me further into him, one of his hands splayed wide in the middle of my back to support me and keep me pinned. I can now feel the steely hardness of his erection hidden underneath his shorts.
I slide my hands through his hair and sift through the soft waves, his moans telling me he likes my touch. He returns his mouth to my lips, his tongue sweeping in and claiming me. We kiss for several minutes with unrestrained lust, my heartbeat dangerously ratcheting up to unprecedented heights. A throbbing ache has begun a slow build between my legs, which I desperately try to eliminate by rocking my hips against his erection. My sex clenches in anticipation, wetness pooling in my panties.
I feel like I’m in some dream, where his beautiful dark eyes hungrily drink in my nakedness. My body is suddenly left standing on its own as he releases his hands from me and grabs the back of his T-shirt, yanking it up and over his head. I can’t help the small gasp of air that leaves my lungs as I look at him in wonder. I’m still amazed that this gorgeous boy wants me. After all these months of waiting, dreaming and hoping he could one day be mine...I finally get my wish.
“What?” He asks, raising his eyebrow at me salaciously.
My words come out in a stuttering breath. “You...you’re just so hot.” He gives me a soft chuckle.
His chest is a golden tan still, even though we’re in December. The small patch of dark chest hair between his pecs is begging for attention, so I sweep my fingers through it, lingering at the hollow of his collarbone, running over the ridge there. I trail my palm down over his pec, rubbing the perfectly round nickel-sized nipple. His body jerks under my touch and I dart my eyes back to his, where I find his eyes closed, a contented smile across his face.
He hums. “Mmm. I like that.”
I don’t know how I got so lucky to end up with Van – our friendship blooming and transforming into something decidedly more. And now here I am, nearly naked with him in his bedroom, preparing to do the most intimate thing there is between two people. It just amazes me and I’m in awe.
I trail my hands around his chest as he continues to give me encouragement. I’m sure we are going much more slowly than he usually does or wants to go, but he hasn’t said anything to the contrary. He’s patient and willing to give me time to explore, seeming to sense that I want to take my time.
I haven’t mentioned my predicament to him yet. I honestly don’t know how to bring it up. I mean, how does one go about that? He hasn’t asked, and it’s not like I’m just going to blurt out at some random point, “Oh hey, by the way. I’m a virgin. I’d like you to pop my cherry. Thanks.”
But I don’t want him to feel duped. Maybe he’s one of those guys who doesn’t sleep with virgins. I’ve heard that’s a real thing with guys. And if I don’t tell him, he may not go as slow as I need him too, and then it might hurt a lot worse.
Gah. I’m just stuck.
The other uncomfortable discussion is how to bring up protection. Does the guy automatically take care of that? I do have a condom in my purse – Kady of course gave me one from her endless supply. I’m also pretty sure I could’ve stolen one from Cade’s room, too, if I had to. I don’t know if it’s needed, though, since I’ve been on the Pill since I was sixteen, mostly because my mom wanted both her girls to have that back-up protection...especially in light of Kady’s free-spirited nature.
All of this leaves a heavy weight on my conscience. At what point are you supposed to talk about these things with your partner? Maybe I should just take the bull by the horns and bring it up. But I’m embarrassed. I don’t want to bring this incredible evening to a grinding halt because of my internal debate. I figure if Van feels it necessary to use a condom, he will. And if not, well, I trust him to know he would never put me in danger. I’m sure he got tested after he found out his ex was screwing around with another guy. Right?
Oh geez, now my brain is all screwed up with a never-ending supply of worry. Van seems to notice, as my hands have stilled on their own accord just above his belly button, my body stiffening.
“Hey, what’s going on?” The concern in his tone has my tongue-tied and thick.
“I, um...I’m on the pill.” I blurt out.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
