Page 32 of Off the Stick
Halle fidgets in the booth seat, her gaze lifting to mine.In it, I see my pain reflecting back on me.
“I texted you that June,” she states softly.My eyes narrow.“Your draft day.But you never responded.Maybe I didn’t expect you to, but I gave up.I told myself that you’d moved on and I wouldn’t ever try contacting you again.”
“What text?”I prod.That day had been a whirlwind.
I was in LA with my parents and my agent, sitting through the first round, sweating through my new suit and biting my nails as I waited for my name to be called.My agent was honest and told me he hadn’t expected me to be selected that early on.I was an excellent right winger with solid stats from juniors, but there was tough competition that year, and we both knew that being drafted in the first round was a pipe dream.
If I thought waiting through the first round was tough, the first half of the second round was utter torture.But then the Chicago Buoys had their next pick, and the owner read off my name.I can’t even begin to describe the elation inside me when my name was read and my lifelong dream of becoming a pro hockey player was fulfilled.
Everything was chaos from that moment on.I was ushered up to a podium at the front of a large arena filled with thousands of players, parents, members of the press, and sports fans.My hands had become clammy, and I rubbed them down my suit pants before meeting the owner and GM of the Buoys, who shook my hand and gave me pats on the back.I was given a jersey and a turquoise Buoys hat—which, strangely enough, had brought Halle to mind.Then I was ushered off to a formal meeting where I signed my exclusive intent to play for the team.
All that was followed by ceremonies, media interviews, photoshoots, and parties in a hotel suite with members of the team and staff.It was a blur of people.
The truth is, if Halle had sent me a text that day or even in the days that followed, I likely did miss it amongst the hundreds I received.
Sadly, one missed text led to missing out on a whole lot of Lennon’s life.
Halle regards me thoughtfully, as if trying to figure something out.I keep my expression neutral, even though I’m boiling on the inside.There are so many questions demanding to be answered, but we don’t have time to resolve them all today.I’m not sure where we will even go from here.
“I’m not going to lie, Dane.It broke my heart.”
“It wasn’t intentional, I swear.”I raise my hands in defense and pin her with an apologetic gaze.She nods once.
“Okay, fine,” she acquiesces, flitting one hand in the air.“But I remained cautiously hopeful I’d hear back from you at some point.And when that response never came, it felt like defeat.Like I never mattered to you.So I blocked your number.”
Halle dips her head and makes a face, tightening her mouth contritely.
“Seriously?You must have known how I felt about you,” I say, hoping to justify my position.“If you remember, you were the one who broke things off with me.I didn’t want to but went along with it for your sake.Had we still been together, I would’ve known and none of this would’ve ever happened.”
The minute the censorious words leave my mouth, and I see the hurt expression and pain in her eyes, I know it was a dick thing to say.I inhale deeply and rub a hand over the stubble on my cheeks.
Fuck, I’m botching this up so bad.
She reaches for her purse and starts to get up from the booth, but I grasp her wrist to keep her from leaving.Halle gives me a look, and I drop my hand.
“Halle, please.Don’t go.I’m sorry.That came out wrong.”
This can’t be the end of this conversation.I don’t want her to go.We need to figure this out and resolve things if we are going to move forward.Because if I’ve learned anything from this news, it’s that I want to be part of both her and Lennon’s lives.
“Halle, I know none of this is your fault, and I didn’t mean to make it sound otherwise.It was just bad timing and circumstances that messed everything up.I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn’t care about you.I promise you, I would’ve been there for you.”
Halle’s gaze drifts back to mine and she gives me a meaningful look, her teal eyes sparkling with diamond tears as a watery smile appears on her face.
“I know.You may have been a hockey boy with a big ego, but you were never an asshole.”
I laugh at the nickname she gave me when we first met and raise a brow.
Misty returns to the table to take down our orders, giving us a few moments to reflect and step away from the heaviness of our conversation.
This entire discussion is surreal, and I can’t quite wrap my head around the fact that I am someone’sfather.Lennon is my daughter.I don’t need a paternity test to know the truth, although I know what my dad and agent will tell me.
Take the fucking test.
And then a thought occurs to me.
Halle said earlier that she never wanted me involved in Lennon’s life before this.But what about now?Is she willing to let me in now?
I didn’t even know Lenni even existed before.But now that I do, I’m here and she’s here.I’m ready to take on the responsibility of being her dad.
