Page 31 of Off the Stick
I knead an eyebrow with my fingertips, tipping my head to one side and pinning her with my gaze.“I trust you, Halle.I know you wouldn’t lie or bullshit me about this.”
Halle sighs, her shoulders deflating like a balloon letting out its air.
But fuck me.I want to be honest with my feelings here.And while I know she’s not fucking lying to me, she has omitted the truth for five years.How do I respond to that?
“But why the hell didn’t you ever tell me you got pregnant?”My words sound more accusatory than I mean them to.Misty the waitress chooses this moment to return with the water and her expression clearly tells me she just heard what I said.And from the looks from the table across from us, I may not have used my inside voice with that announcement.
Fuck.TMZ is going to be running this on their six o’clock episode tonight.
I cast a glance at Misty and raise my eyebrows in a silent request for her to remain discreet.She takes the cue and flees the table, looking over her shoulder at us once more before leaving me alone with Halle, whose eyes swim with unshed tears.
I inch closer to her in the U-shaped booth, moving her purse out of the way, and throw my arm behind the upholstered seat.I squeeze my hand into a tight fist, digging my nails into my palm to fend off the urge to stroke her silky hair.
“Please, Halle.”I reach for her hand currently toying with a napkin on the table.“Why did you keep this from me?I don’t understand.”
She inhales a deep breath and blows it out, wiping away a tear that had escaped down her cheek.
“I’m sorry, Dane,” she says, her voice quavering a bit from emotion.She clears her throat and straightens her posture against the booth.“The thing is, I honestly never wanted you to find out about Lenni.”
I’m stunned, literally stunned by her admission.I extract my arm from behind her and clasp my hands together on the table, then slide them forward.Rounding my back, I drop my head in disbelief.
I slowly turn to give her a side glance, searching for something in her expression that will explain her logic for keeping this secret from me.
Halle leans forward and reaches out to curl her palms over my fists.Her touch—so gentle and hesitant—confuses me.It makes me want to curl into her and make her mine again.But on the other hand, it’s patronizing and judging.
“Please understand my position,” she says imploringly, lips quivering.But I yank my hands away and jerk back upright, staring off in front of me so I can avoid her gaze.
“Jesus Christ, Halle.”The words come out like an arrow.“How did you think so little of me?Did I ever do anything to make you believe I wouldn’t have been there for you?”
Halle shakes her head, and strands of hair fall around her face.She tucks some behind her ears and moves toward me until there’s only a few inches between us.Her honey-and-lavender scent surrounds me, like an intoxicating force field that has me frozen in time.
“No, that’s not what I believed at all.But life was complicated after I found out I was pregnant with Lenni.I was dealing with big emotions and wild mood swings.”Her brows furrow and the corners of her mouth dip down into a frown.She slides her hands under the table, and I can see her absently picking her nails.“I not only lost my scholarship but didn’t have a way to return to school.I was scared out of my mind about how my dad would react to my pregnancy and what he’d say.And then, after dealing with those stresses, when I was finally at a place where I could tell you…by then, you’d been drafted.”
I’ll admit, it sounds like she’d had a lot on her plate to go through alone.It only hurts more that she didn’t choose to reach out right away.I would’ve been by her side.
Wouldn’t I?
I shift to face her and adjust my legs so my knees don’t bump into hers.I’m not sure if either one of us could handle any physical connection right now.
“You had plenty of time to let me know.”I count out the months on my fingers.“April.May.June.”
She nods her head.“Yeah, I suppose I did.Trust me, I vacillated at least fifteen times a day.Pregnancy hormones are no joke.I drove my family nuts.”Halle laughs at her own inside joke.
Fuck it.I need to touch her.
I reach under the table and capture her hand in mine, holding it on the seat between us.Her skin is so soft, and a little cold.Such a contrast from my hot, callused hands.I stare down at her short, pink-painted nails and wonder how much she’s been through without me to support her.
“I promised you, Cherry.Remember?I thought that meant something.”
Halle wiggles her fingers loose from my grip but then intertwines her slim fingers through mine.
“I know, Dane.But it was the promise of an eighteen-year-old on the cusp of a very big life.I did this for you as much as I did it for Lennon.”She looks at me with frank earnestness.“Be real.You would have never been around to see her.You played for Chicago at the time, and we were in Calgary.How would that have even worked?”
I make a scoffing noise of protest, my ego taking the hit even though I know she’s probably right.
Professional hockey is hard when you’re on the road at least nine months a year, in and out of cities across North America and sometimes playing games in other countries.I’ve seen how hard it is for the guys with families when they’re on the road.Even when they’re home, they don’t have much time to spend quality time with their families or significant others.
“Still,” I argue, lifting my chin in indignation.“At the very least, you could’ve told me.I could’ve supported you financially at least.”
