Page 203 of New Growth
“El…” I said, tugging at his shirt. “What is it?”
He hesitated. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to bring up.”
I raised a brow. “Okay…”
“It’s not about Sam,” he said quickly. “It’s about you.”
Now I was really listening.
“We gotta talk about the drink at your dad’s.”
I tensed. Just slightly. But I felt it.
“I know,” I murmured.
“I didn’t say anything then ‘cause we were in his house, and I didn’t want to add to the pressure you already felt,” he said. “But you said you’d go dry for a month.”
“I know,” I repeated. “I messed up.”
He didn’t scold. He didn’t lecture. He just let out a breath and brushed his thumb along my thigh.
“Was it just that day?” he asked.
I looked away. “No.”
“How many?”
“Maybe three,” I confessed, while cringing internally. “I didn’t even think about it, El. It was like a reflex.”
He nodded, but he looked down at his hand, then back at me.
“I’m not mad,” he said. “I just… I don’t want you caught up in that shit.”
I swallowed. “I’m not—”
“I’m not saying you’re an alcoholic,” he said quickly. “But I am saying that if we don’t talk about it, it’ll grow into something that starts messing with everything else. Understand?”
I looked up at him then. Really looked at him. The concern in his beautiful eyes wasn’t fear. It was love. And not the coddling kind—real love. Grown love.
“I’m trying,” I said quietly.
“I know you are.” He paused. “That’s why I want us to really talk about it.”
I lifted my head from his chest slowly. “Okay.”
He looked at me, eyes steady and warm. “I’ve been reading up… and talking to someone.”
My brow furrowed. “Talking to someone?”
“Yeah. About how to support you better.” His voice was soft, like he didn’t want to spook me. “I know this hasn’t been easy, especially with everything going on. The stress and the pressure you put on yourself. I see it all, baby.”
I swallowed, suddenly hyper-aware of the way his fingers kept moving.
“El…”
“I’m not tryna throw you in some rehab house with a bunch of strangers or anything extreme,” he said quickly. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
I nodded, letting him keep talking.
