Page 12 of Beared at Christmas
Brody
Waking up in another man’s arms was a foreign but welcome feeling for me. Something I hadn’t experienced in many years, not since back when I was naïve enough to believe sex meant love and that my family would accept me as gay. All my recent dalliances ended with me leaving the establishment we’d met at or creeping out of their place in the middle of the night, so I didn’t have to face the other man trying to tell me that I’d been fun, but he wasn’t looking for a relationship. I’d heard those words far too many times.
Ulrik and I hadn’t had sex. We’d simply watched the stars, observed parts of the Milky Way that I thought could only be seen in photographs from orbiting satellites or taken with cameras that had high resolution lenses. We’d even caught a few shooting stars at the tail end of the Ursids meteor shower. My wishes on those stars hadn’t been for myself but for Ulrik. I didn’t necessarily want him to move on. I wanted him to find healing, and for his heart not to hurt so much.
Holding hands was the most intimate we’d gotten the entire night, and I was okay with that, no matter how much I yearned for him to fuck me. His fingers interlaced with mine had felt affectionate, something I didn’t think I’d ever done with a partner in my past.
I didn’t remember snuggling into Ulrik’s side during the night. With his arm holding me against him, and my hand splayed across his chest, it was cozy. I didn’t want to move. Even if it meant nothing in the end, I wanted to enjoy the contentment his warmth brought me for a little longer. I simply breathed in his musky scent and kept my eyes closed, trying to ignore the stirring in my loins.
When I felt him rouse, I realized I must have fallen asleep again. He kissed my forehead before his entire body stiffened beside me. Then he pulled his arm out from under me, no longer holding me close.
“Mmm, good morning.” I wasn’t ready to move away from him.
“Morning. Sorry.” His body remained rigid as his chest rose and fell with his deep breaths. “I don’t know when I… I didn’t mean to…”
I shimmied away from him, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. “I rather enjoyed snuggling with you. It was a nice way to wake up instead of alone in bed. But I don’t want to make things awkward between us. I meant exactly what I said last night.”
Ulrik nodded, his muscles seeming to relax a little. “How are you feeling? Are you still sore?”
“Other than needing to use the washroom, I’m good.” I chuckled, hoping he understood. “As much as I hated it, I think the plunge into the cold-water pool yesterday, followed by the hot tub really helped.”
He turned toward me with a soft smile. “I’m glad. I was thinking we could stop at the snow maze before going back to our cabin. Grab something to eat there and see if we can make it through without getting lost.”
“I would like that.” As much as I wanted to touch him, give him some kind of comfort, I kept my hands to myself. We were already in bed together with only a foot of space between us. I had to accept what he was ready for.
After a few more moments like that, I crawled over him to get to the bathroom. I could no longer wait.
Once we cleaned up and I turned in the key for the igloo just before the checkout cutoff time, we headed for the snow maze.
The restaurant was known for its all-day breakfast, which was a welcome treat considering how late we’d slept in. Plus, it was nice to get a freshly made breakfast instead of the lodge’s lobby food that had been sitting out for a while. Once we’d finished our meal—Ulrik’s treat since I’d paid for the night in the igloo—we headed out back to tackle the maze.
Pulling on my mitts and winter hat, I turned to Ulrik. “How do you want to do this? Do you want to go through together, or one at a time to see who can get through it the fastest?”
Digging the toe of his boot into the snow, he chewed on his bottom lip. “Would you mind if we go together? Since you were so honest with me last night, and our week here is almost done, I want to say that I like spending time with you. Plus, if you start to hurt from your fall the other day, it’s best if I’m with you instead of trying to find you.”
“Sounds good.” I smiled at his sweetness and wondered if my wishes for him the night before helped. He was truly unlike any man I’d met before, and I was sure he and his husband had a great relationship. It made me wonder if I would ever be lucky enough to find someone like Ulrik, or if he would contact me when he was ready to date again.
Without looking at the map to the right side of the entrance, we headed into the maze with high walls of snow blocks all around us. At the first intersection, I paused. “Right or left?”
“Left,” he replied, rubbing my back as he passed me.
I took a deep breath then followed behind him, refusing to comment on the touch. Days earlier, when we first met, he’d seemed to avoid getting in close contact with me. Since going tube sliding, that had changed, and I wasn’t sure if he was just being himself, or whether to read more into his actions.
Through the maze, we seemed to backtrack a bit before turning right twice then heading down a long passageway. Ithought we were well on our way to the exit until we turned left again and ended up in a dead end.
I turned around to head back the way we came. Ulrik grabbed my hands and, with a speed I didn’t expect, he kissed me on the lips. He was so fast, I didn’t have a chance to kiss him back. Instead, I stared at him, stunned.
He let go of me then ran his tongue along his bottom lip. “Please be patient with me.”
I gulped then nodded, not sure I could reply with coherent words. Part of me was thrilled my wish had worked and he’d chosen me to be his first relationship after the death of his husband. Another part complained we only had two days left and worried what would happen at the end of the week. Somehow, no matter how hard I’d tried not to, I’d developed feelings for Ulrik. More than a sexual attraction. Regardless, I figured letting our connection play out for the rest of our holiday was best, and I could figure out what to do about my heart after that.
With a few more wrong turns amongst our route, we found our way to the exit. No more kisses, but Ulrik smiled a lot more and rubbed my arm or back with every chance he got. He made me wish I hadn’t agreed to be patient. With every touch, no matter where on my body, he made my longing for him grow. I expected to need more time in the shower that night, so I could pinch one off while thinking of him before I returned to his presence to prove how patient I could be.
Chapter Eleven
Ulrik
After letting Brody go ahead into the cabin, I waited in my truck, taking a few calming breaths. He wanted to have a shower right away, and I needed the time alone to figure myself out. I didn’t know if Fate had purposely matched us together or if he was simply the human who got stuck in the cabin with me. The more time I spent with him, the more I considered I was ready to try dating again. And I’d kissed him. Not once but twice, never giving him the chance to kiss me back. I was afraid I would like it too much.
