Page 40 of Domino
“One more,” she says. “Because I want to hear more about this guy.”
“There’s not much to tell. I mean, I don’t know all that much about him.”
“Other than he’s superhot,” she says.
I shrug. “Well… yeah. And that he actually seems nice, which is something I’m still trying to wrap my mind around.”
Missy takes a drink of her wine and sets the glass down. She leans forward and looks at me, her expression serious.
“Just be careful, Ash. I mean, he’s a biker. Those kinds of guys have got a reputation for a reason.”
“I know. He just seems different. I mean, he’s definitely gruff and all of that. But there’s just this gentleness about him that’s surprising.”
“Not to beat a dead horse, or make you feel bad, or anything like that, but Ryan seemed that way, too. At least for a while.”
I nod, acknowledging the fact that she’s right. Once upon a time, I thought Ryan was a kind and a gentle man. And we all see how that turned out. It’s fair to say that when it comes to men, my judgment is suspect. At best. But I know that I had misgivings about Ryan, even back then. I didn’t allow myself to think on them too deeply or give them much credence in my own mind because I was a stupid girl who was in love. But the fact of the matter is that I saw the warning signs back then, and just chose to ignore them.
And it’s true that I don’t know Max. We haven’t spent enough time together for me to know what he’s really like. But when I look into his eyes, I do see a gentleness there. Ryan always had a hard edge in his eyes. There was always something dangerous in them. That’s not to say Max doesn’t have an air of danger about him or doesn’t have an edge—he most certainly does—but it’s just different. There’s a sweetness I see in his eyes that I never really saw in Ryan’s.
“What is it you like about him?” Missy asks.
The smile curls my lips upward before I can stop it. “He’s charming. And it’s not a fake or smarmy charm. It just kind of oozes out of him.”
The truth is that although I put up this icy front with him, try to make myself seem completely disinterested, his charm really gets under my skin. In the best way possible, to be honest. Yeah, I enjoy the whole being pursued angle of all this. But the back and forth exchanges, the lighthearted banter, and his stubborn insistence on breaking through the walls I surround myself with all combine to give me this dizzying feel of… something. It kind of feels like happiness, but it’s been so long since I’ve actually felt that, I can’t say for sure.
“Yeah, well, be careful. He may just be trying to charm you out of your panties. You know how guys can be.”
I give her a shrug. “I’ve thought about it. And if that’s all this is, would that be such a bad thing?”
She giggles and looks at me, an expression of scandal on her face. “Listen to you! When did Sister Ashley Margaret start enjoying recreational sex?”
My face is burning so hot, I’m surprised it hasn’t burst into flames. I’d forgotten that Missy and Maggie used to tease me relentlessly about my... prudish nature. Back in the day, while they were experimenting with boys and sex, I wasn’t. Sex was something special to me and I didn’t want to just give it away to somebody I didn’t care about. I wanted it to mean something.
It was my personal choice and I never looked down on them for enjoying themselves. That was their choice, and it wasn’t for me to say anything about it one way or the other. Of course, we all teased each other. They called me a prude and gave me the name, “Sister Ashley Margaret,” obviously implying that I’m a nun. And I’d call them a slut in one form or another. None of us ever meant anything by it and we all knew it was in good fun. And as I think back on those times now, I can’t help but laugh. They were good times.
“Sister Ashley Margaret has hung up her habit… mostly. Since I decided that I’m starting a new life, I’m going to live it the way that I want. And if that means I indulge in a little recreational sex, that I use a man for my own pleasure, then so be it. I’m okay with that. Mostly,” I tell her.
She clasps her hands in front of her. “My little girl is finally growing up. I’m so proud of you.”
We share a laugh as I give her the finger. But as our laughter tapers off, her expression grows more serious.
“I’m excited about you starting this new chapter of your life, babe. Don’t think I’m not,” she says. “Just… be careful with yourself. I don’t want to see you get hurt in any sense of the word.”
Reaching across the table, I take hold of her hand and squeeze it tight. “I’ll be careful. And I’m not saying anything is going to happen with Max. He might not call, or I might not even agree to go out with him. But it’s nice to have options,” I tell her.
“Options are always a good thing to have,” she agrees.
“Honestly, I like how hard Max is chasing me. I really enjoy the feeling of being wanted and pursued,” I say. “And even if it goes nowhere outside of the bedroom, it’s nice to feel free, and like I can have a lover if I want. Miss, it’s been so long since I’ve felt genuine pleasure that I haven’t given myself, I think I’m owed.”
She smiles softly. “If there’s one thing you most definitely deserve, it’s to get laid. And get laid well. It’s amazing just how much an amazing orgasm can change your perspective on life.”
“Who knows what’s going to happen? I could wake up tomorrow and feel differently about everything.”
“Don’t be too hasty, babe. I like this new free, I’ll-bang-whoever-I-want woman you’re becoming. You’re fierce, and that’s kinda hot. I might even do you myself.”
The laughter erupts from me and I have to bite it off, trying to avoid being too loud. Missy is laughing along with me as well. But then she drains the last of her wine, so I follow suit, knowing we need to wrap this up.
“I’m going to head to bed,” she said. “Just remember what I said… be careful.”
