Page 70 of Christmas Crisis
Oh no.
She leaned back in her chair and threw her napkin on the table, then folded her arms across her chest. “You weren’t touching me like a friend, Leo. You were touching me like a lover.”
I froze, stunned, before sucking in a breath. She stared evenly at me.
“Miranda…” I struggled for what to say. Of course the person who knew me best would see right through me.
On some level, I knew she’d been talking herself out of the obvious for a while. During the massage. At the arcade. Probably longer. Because she respected that I’d told her I was ace. That I didn’t want a romantic relationship.
But that delusion couldn’t last forever.
“Be honest with me, Leo. Do you want me as more than a friend?”
Now it was my turn to drop my fork.
5 MONTHS AGO - JULY
By morning, I’d gained more clarity. I wanted Miranda. Full stop. Where did we go from here? That was still a wide-open question.
She wasn’t in my room when I woke up. There was a note on my phone. She’d gone back to her room to shower before weneeded to head to James and Marley’s house. We were having breakfast with them before they left for their honeymoon.
Driving over in my truck, Miranda chatted about the wedding and her plans for spending the summer in Coleman Creek. Meanwhile, all I could think about was waking up in the middle of the night to find my fully hard cock pressed into her ass. I’d rolled away, and I didn’t think she noticed, but it was still…fucking weird. Another new thing to get used to.
I halfway thought I’d need to rub one out, but it hadn’t been an issue. Per usual, I deflated quickly. I’d read that some ace people still had high libidos—meaning many of them enjoyed masturbating—but I’d never run hot. For me, jerking off was a rare event.
After breakfast, Miranda helped her sister finish packing. Marley and James planned to spend a week in Greece, followed by a Mediterranean cruise.
James and I sat on his back porch, sipping coffee.
I flicked the bun on top of his head. “Hard to believe my little brother is a married man.”
He laughed. “You remember I married Cindy six years ago? You didn’t seem so surprised then.”
“That was different.” He didn’t need me to elaborate. Before James met Marley, he’d had a disastrous three-year marriage to a woman who’d expected more from life than being married to a high school teacher. With Marley, he’d found his forever.
James relaxed back in his chair. “I feel like the luckiest guy in the world, you know? I turned thirty a week ago, and I have an amazing wife, a home, dogs, a job I love. Will and I are best friends again, and I’m about to go on an amazing honeymoon. Life is good, brother.”
“I’m so proud of you,” I said genuinely.
We sat in silence for a minute before he spoke again. “You know the only thing that could make it better?”
My mind immediately went to kids, but Marley and James had made a point of saying they planned to wait a few years.
“Winning lottery ticket?” I suggested. “New chalkboard for your classroom? A trainer who can actually get Oscar to shake when you ask him to, instead of just licking his butthole?”
James’s cheek ticked. “I’d like to know that my big brother is just as happy as I am. But the butthole thing would be good too.”
I eyed him. “I’m happy. Are you under the impression that I’m not?”
“That isn’t it,” he replied, sipping his coffee. “And I’m not making a judgment. You’re such an amazing and supportive brother, I guess I just want to make sure I’m giving you that in return. This is me checking in to make sure you’re okay. I know you have friends and a job you like, but I hope it’s…enough. Maybe it’s none of my business, but sometimes it seems like you’re holding yourself back. And if you’re doing that because something’s wrong, I want to help you.” He exhaled. “You can also tell me to shut up.”
I let out my own thick breath. “James, I—” Tilting my head upward, I gazed up at the clear, cool sky. “I get how my life might look from the outside. I’m in my mid-thirties, and I haven’t hit a lot of, let’s say, typical adult milestones… And I know you and Mom and Dad wonder why I don’t date. If it helps, I’m saving for a down payment on a house, so at least I’ll tick that box eventually.” I paused, patting him on the thigh. “But you’re my brother. If something were wrong, it would definitely be your business. You shouldn’t feel you can’t ask me things. I might not answer, but you can always ask.”
“Does that mean you’re just—what? Taking things at your own pace?”
I raised adon’t bullshit meeyebrow at him. “You want to know the reason for the not dating?”
“Obviously, I’m curious. I’d be an oblivious fool if I weren’t. Especially since you’re thehotbrother.”
