Page 41 of Christmas Crisis
“But why bullshit us about being a fan or whatever? Why not just say then that you knew the story wasn’t true because that’s your girlfriend?”
Amala was hurt, and I understood. I’d known her for five years. I bit my lip, pausing before I explained. “That morning was the first I’d heard of it, honestly. And I didn’t know what Miranda wanted me to say. She’s known Stone for a while, and it’s always been on the DL, you know. I was sort of…information gathering, I suppose. Just worried about my g-girlfriend.” I barely stuttered over the word. “That was my thought process. Once you showed me what was happening online, I felt frantic to check on her.”
That last part was certainly true.
“You could have told me,” Amala grumbled. “Not just about her being friends with Stone, but also about dating her.” She put her hand to her mouth like she’d just realized something terrible. “Or did you believe at the time it was true? That your girlfriend was cheating on you with Stone?”
Damn, this was convoluted. I shook my head decisively. “No. Miranda’s not a cheater. It wasn’t a surprise to me that there are pictures of her and Stone. They’re, um, good friends.”
“I feel like a jackass that I tried to introduce you to my sisters. Or pointed out women when we went out. You could have just told me you were with someone.”
Again, I didn’t want to lie. I struggled to come up with a half-truth that might make her feel better. “It’s complicated between Miranda and me. I’m sure you remember that her sister is married to my brother. We kept it quiet because we didn’t want to cause a big family drama in case it didn’t work out.”
Amala choked a laugh. Her anger seemed to have faded. “My man, I’ve seen you with that girl. And I’ve heard the way you talk about her. Not to mention those pics that got posted. I was an idiot to believe it when you said it was just a friend thing.” She chortled again. “Trust me, it’s gonna work out.” She put her hands on her hips. “Charlie said he thinks you’ve been dating this whole time, since when you first introduced us to her.”
“Charlie is…incorrect.”
Amala snorted. “Well, I’m still not thrilled you didn’t feel you could tell me right off. But I know one way you can make it up to me.”
“How’s that?”
“The next time Stone’s in town, maybe you can have a party or something, and I can just swing by…”
I grinned in relief. I was sure she’d think of more questions later, but for now, I didn’t have to worry about digging myself out from under a bigger pile of lies.
“Stone’s actually fairly down-to-earth,” I said. Grudgingly. “And he’s more Miranda’s friend than mine. But I know he loves his fans, and I’m sure he’d be happy to meet you.” I planned to make sure of it. Stone could do me a solid after this.
“Cool. And if he ever does break up with Naomi, maybe you can put in a good word for my sisters.”
Amala leaned down to look at the joints on the balustrade, and I reflected on how much Miranda and I were lying to our friends and families.
It was convenient that I’d bought myself some peace from having my coworkers wonder about my love life, but it was coming at a moment when I finally thought I’d be okay telling people about my asexuality. For years I’d felt like I needed a cover story, that I couldn’t risk being upfront about why I didn’t date. But that had changed. The shift had come so slowly, I hadn’t registered it, but I didn’t feel the sameothernessI always had. The instinct to protect myself from being seen as “a waste” had dissipated.
Miranda and I had solved the immediate problem with Stone, but we hadn’t talked much about our exit strategy from this deception. My parents were so happy to hear we were dating. Would Marley, James, and Maureen feel the same? Probably. And how long would we keep it up? Were we going to stage a breakup or eventually reveal the whole truth? Would it hurt them that we hadn’t been honest in the first place?
There were so many X-factors we hadn’t considered. Even if Stone kept his word and “broke up” with Naomi around Valentine’s Day, how long would he have to wait before dating Miranda publicly? Would they ever be able to? No matter how long they waited, wouldn’t it always look suspicious? I imagined if they waited a year, once me and Miranda and Stone and Naomi were all single again, they could do it. Sell it as a whole friends-to-lovers situation.
But that was a long time from now. More waiting for Miranda.
I doubted she’d thought that far ahead.
The only person who’d probably thought that far ahead was Shoshanna, and she didn’t care if Miranda had to lie to everyoneshe knew. Stone also didn’t seem to have imbibed what this was costing his girlfriend.
Evidently, protecting Miranda’s interests would be my job. As much as she’d let me. I could get her through this. Because no one cared about her the way I did.
I recalled that day almost two years ago, when she’d stood in my living room, dripping wet from her shower, and I'd been unmoved. Not a whisper of a sexual thought. She was simply a beautiful woman who intrigued me, someone I wanted to know.
Now that same image had my cock at half-mast. In my mind’s eye, I pictured her—face open, eyes soft and vulnerable. Bolstered by two years of knowing her, the memory hit different.
And thank god for that. Thank god Miranda had shown me what was possible. I could love someone.
I could love her. Even if she didn’t know my feelings had changed.
Amala’s voice broke my reverie. “Hey Leo?”
“Yeah?”
“Sorry I called your girlfriend a ho.”
