Page 13 of Heat Haze
Toro’s gaze isn’t on the book, it’s on me. He seems really happy, almost as if his little outburst from before never happened. With each passing page the sky outside gets darker and darker, and before I know it we’re already on chapter twenty.
I don’t even realize he’s asleep until he begins to quietly snore in my ear. Since there’s no bookmark I fold the edge in, setting it down on the bedside table slowly. The last thing I wanna do is wake him up when he’s sleeping so peacefully.
There’s the faintest ghost of a smile on his lips. He seems so at peace with everything, andsomethingtugs at myheartstrings. I’d never imagine that the man cuddled up to me would be capable of such violence—of so many horrible things.
But he is.
So why do I feel bad? Why do I even care what he thinks? Despite the fact every logical part of me knows better, why does the thought of hurting him makemefeel bad?
CHAPTER TEN
I meant to wake him up. Really, I did.
But instead I fell asleep right next to him, and now it’s pitch black outside andalmosta tolerable heat. I woke up with my face nestled into his chest, which I really don’t want to think about too hard. The arm slung around me is protective, his smile wide as though he’s having a really good dream.
“Toro…” I whisper a little too loudly, wiggling around in his grasp trying to get out. It doesn’t work at all, instead prompting him to hold on even tighter. “Toro…!”
His eyes shoot open, but he doesn’t look worried. When he sees me he manages to shine even brighter, all excited and eager overwhat? Because we ended up falling asleep together?
I don’t flinch when he reaches a hand out, fixing my bangs with a hyperfocused expression. We’re so close that his breath softly hits my face. Maybe to him it doesn’t matter, but it’s honestly freaking me out. Sometimes Nadine and I would cozy up on the couch together or whatever but that was totally a platonic thing.
This doesn’t feel the same. It feels vulnerable, and that scares me. It scares me more than the looming threat of dying, even though it really shouldn’t. My priorities feel all out of sorts right now, but so does everything else. I wish everything could just stop for a minute. I just want a moment to actuallybreathe.
Instead I’m being pet by a man with no sense of personal space. But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that he’s really all I have here. My friends are dead,escaping didn’t work, and honestly I don’t have much fight left in me anyway.
There’s no point in pushing him away or being difficult. Not when I’m teetering a thin line between surviving and dying. It’s not the worst thing in the world to have someone care about me, even if it’s only temporarily. I just don’t understand his motive.
Kindness? Is that all it took? It doesn’t make any sense, and no matter how I approach it I can’t wrap my head around the concept. Unluckily enough I don’t have to think about it long, because loud footsteps cut through the comfortable silence we’re in.
Toro immediately tenses up, his grip on me growing guarded as the door pushes open. My stomach sinks as Damien enters the room, clothes all disheveled like he just got back from a hard day of work.
“We’re back—” he goes to mumble, before looking over at the bed and seeing the two of us. His brow furrows, and for a moment he seems genuinely surprised. But that asshole grin returns to his face, and he shakes his head. “Toro, Toro, Toro…”
Damien paces around the room, stalking closer and closer. Toro pushes me off of him with a gentle motion, moving to stand up and loom over his brother. His fists are clenched, and I find myself instinctively retreating to the corner of bed to try and distance myself the best I can.
“Just what are you hiding in here?” He doesn’t seem that phased by his brother, peering past him to sneer at me before Toro steps in to block his vision. “What? I can’t take a peek at yer’ little pet? Never woulda pegged ya for the clingy type, Toro.”
Toro stomps his foot at him, shoulders rising and falling as he tries to communicate through angry breaths and sharp inhales that sound more akin to hisses. He’s getting worked up, that much is obvious. But before Damien can get a word in, Lucio appears in the doorway. He shakes his head when he sees me, letting out a heavy sigh.
“Look at him,” Damien scoffs, elbowing Lucio. “Getting all worked up over his littleciervo.”
“What is he doing here?” Lucio asks, pushing his brother off to the side to try a different approach with Toro. It’s not as aggressive, and he seems genuinely confused.
“You won’t believe it, Luce. Toro was fuckin’ cuddlin’ up to the damn guy. Holdin’ him tight like they were a pretty little pair.”
Lucio pauses, staring at his brother in shock. “What?”
“Honest!”
The brothers go quiet, with the only audible sound being Toro’s heavy breathing.
“You can’t keep him, Toro.” Lucio warns, voice low. “You know that. He ain’t gonna love ya. Youkilledhis friends. Ain’t nobody gonna forgive that. He’d have to be even more screwed up in the head then you are.”
Toro seemingly snaps at the last comment, raising his hand up to throw a punch at his brother. But before it can connect he freezes up, and when my eyes move to see what he’s looking at I can’t help but freeze too.
“What the hell is goin’ on in here?” Mr. Tavera’s voice is calm but authoritative, heavy steps echoing throughout the room as everyone goes silent. He glares at me with pure disgust plastered on his face.
There’s something knowing in his eyes, as if he had already seen this coming. His focus shifts to Toro, who’s like a kid that just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “You think it’s wise to piss me off, boy?”
