Page 43 of Heat Haze
My legs work quickly as I head back to the farm. I just need to talk to Toro and get to the bottom of this. I don’t want to overthink it. Ishouldn’toverthink it. But my heart is racing so fast I think I might really just pass out before I even get there.
I really hope he’s honest with me.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Standing outside Toro’s bedroom has never felt so nauseating until now. Damien is a liar. He can charm anyone but nothing he ever says is true. I know that. Iknowthat… But why do I still feel so anxious about it?
Do I really not trust Toro? I thought I did. Iwantto trust him, I want to trust him as much as he wants me to trust him. He would never hurt me, that I’m sure of. But have other people been on the table this whole time and I never realized it?
There’s no answers to be found out in the hallway, so with a shaky breath I push the door open. He’s still sleeping peacefully. I don’t want to believe Damien, I don’t. But that grating voice in the back of my head won’t let me drop it.
I skulk across the room, tapping his shoulder. He shifts but doesn’t wake up, and only after I begin shaking him like mad does he actually open his eyes. He’s confused, eyes darting around the room before finding me. He immediately relaxes when he does, beginning to smile at me even though I woke him up.
At the moment I almost consider letting it go entirely. How could I ever not trust someone who can look at me so sweetly?
“Hi.” He mumbles, voice thick with sleep.
I want to say hi back, to kiss his forehead. But not until this is done with. “We have to talk.”
The little smile he was forming dies before it finishes, looking at me with confusion in his eyes. “Huh…?”
“When you and Damien went to town… did youdoanything?”
Toro squints, thinking for a second. “Chocolate. Got you it.”
“Yeah,” I nod, “but did you do anything else? Anything… bad?”
He’s frowning now, quickly sitting up straight. I don’t like the way he’s looking at me. Not because it’s scaring me, but because it’s making me feel guilty. “Bad? Not bad…”
“Damien said… said you hurt someone.”
Toro pauses, expression shifting to something undeniable: hurt. He looks upset. I just hurt him by asking him that. Oh god. “No…” His voice is so little it shatters my heart.
“Okay,” I gulp, moving to sit with him on the bed. He reaches an arm out and stops me, eyes searching mine for an answer I don’t have.
“Don’t… trust me?”
“I do. I do trust you. That’s why I came to ask you. I promise I believe you, Toro. I just needed to hear it from you.”
He still seems apprehensive, but he doesn’t think twice before scooping me up into his lap. His limbs curl around me, like a big fleshy cage that I don’t even want to get out of. “Okay? It’s okay?”
“It’s okay,” I affirm. “I love you.”
That seems to help since his body immediately relaxes. “Love you. Love you… a lot. Don’t want to be… bad.”
“I know, and you’re doing such a good job.” I kiss his neck, smiling to myself at the way his shoulders raise like he didn’t expect it. “You’re so good, Toro.”
“For you…”
My heart can’t take it anymore. I hug him tighter, feeling so stupid for ever even considering anything Damien says. I just feel grateful. Grateful that he forgave me so quickly. Grateful that he didn’t lose his cool as badly as I did.
“Love you,” I say again, too mentally exhausted for anything else. “I’m sorry I interrupted your nap. I’m sorry I…”
Toro doesn’t seem to mind, since he pulls me back down with him. His head hits the pillow with a soft sound, his hair messy thanks to how much he moves around in his sleep. “You stay?”
“Yeah, okay.” There’s no way in hell I’m turning him down, not now. Not when I nearly broke his heart in two. I feel as though I have to make it up to him, but I don’t know how. “Are you mad at me?”
“No,” he grunts, kissing the top of my head. “Never.”
