Page 65 of Happy Is On Hiatus
“Well, we’re not all lined up for that marriage-and-family train like you and Marc seem to be,” Sharae said and then wished she hadn’t because she knew Aunt Ceil pressured Jemel enough about when she was getting married and giving her grandchildren.
“Girl, he hasn’t said anything about marriage, and neither have I. We’re just ridin’ this good wave while we can.” There was a moment of bleakness in Jemel’s tone, but when Sharae looked to Rita to see if she’d noticed it too, Rita was slicing those onions in perfect paper-thin slices. Sharae frowned, not only at the smell, but how effortless the task seemed for Rita.
“I mean, I’m content having my own space. Not depending on no man to make me happy,” she told them.
“That part right there,” Rita said, lifting her head up. “What I’ve had to come to terms with in these past weeks is that onlyIcan make me happy. I can’t afford to trust that to anybody else.”
“Humph.” Jemel glanced at Rita, then back to Sharae. “From the way you talked about that massage from Vance, I kind of thought his hands and all that oil made you pretty damn happy.”
“You so nasty,” Rita said with a shake of her head. “But I do have another appointment with him next week.”
Sharae grinned at the way Rita’s grown ass continued to blush.
“Listen,” Rita said to Sharae. “You have to get out of your head. Every time you meet a guy, you think about your father.”
Sharae froze. Jemel smacked Rita’s arm and gave her a warning gaze.
“What?” Rita asked. “It’s the truth, and she knows it. She also knows we don’t sugarcoat stuff when it’s just us.”
Sharae and Jemel shared a glance, but Rita didn’t notice it.
“You remember those first days after you came to live with us?” Rita continued.
Nodding, Sharae cracked two eggs and mixed them in a small bowl. She poured that mixture over the ground beef and then added the hamburger seasoning Rita had already mixed and put into a small plastic bag.
“You wouldn’t even cry. Mama kept coming into my bedroom to check on you, but all you did was sit in the window seat and stare outside. That’s when I believe you locked away all your feelings. Not for or from us or any of the rest of the family, but for any type of relationship with someone who wasn’t related by blood.”
Both her hands were immersed in the chilly meat now, and Sharae did her best to focus on that instead of the pricks of pain Rita’s words were causing.The truth hurts.Aunt Rose said that all the time, and Sharae had said it a time or two in her interrogations. Most of her suspects were long past the point of having feelings about anything they did or the repercussions, but there’d been a few who’d completely broken downafter confessing to their crimes. So she knew the saying had merit, and she hated how much it seemed to fit what she was experiencing right now.
“I don’t need a man.” Defense was a reflex.
“No.” Rita’s voice softened. “I don’t think you do. I don’t believe any of us do, for that matter. But it’s still okay to want one.”
“Whew, that’s a word right there,” Jemel added. “I fought that for so long. Like I always wanted to be with a guy, but not really for keeps. Mama had been through enough, and I swear I would kill any man that put me through the type of grief my father put her through.”
“Yeah, but Aunt Ceil walked away from him,” Sharae added. “She stood up to him. My mother ...” Her voice trailed off, and she had to take a deep breath to push back the emotion.
“She did the best she could, Sharae. In the end, that’s really all any of us can do.” Rita finished with the onions and measured vinegar in a cup before pouring that on top of them and the cucumbers. “The important thing is, we can’t stop living. We can’t let the pitfalls hold us down.”
Sharae thought about those words as they continued to work in the kitchen for the next couple of hours. Rita was starting her life over. She’d given herself to a man who’d never deserved her, but she was pulling herself up and moving forward with a new business and a possible hot trainer guy on the side. And Jemel, even in the midst of the back-and-forth between her and Marc, had managed to build the life she wanted for herself. So why couldn’t Sharae do the same? Why couldn’t she have her dream job and a nice, easygoing, good-looking, semipermanent lover—because she still wasn’t talking marriage. But maybe, just maybe, there could be something more with Desmond.
“Stop being afraid. If you like him, let him like you back. He’s not Sanford, and you’re not Aunt Jus,” Rita whispered to her just before she went upstairs to get dressed.
Sharae knew that was the part she needed to reconcile and wondered if she could really do it this time.
Chapter 24
FAMILY IS EVERYTHING.
Rita smiled when it seemed Sharae had taken her advice from this morning. They’d finally gotten everything all prepared; then they’d each taken showers and changed their clothes.
Jemel, after complaining how badly she needed a nap, had put on faded jean shorts that barely covered her butt, but showed off her magnificently toned legs. Her top was a frothy white halter with a ruffled bottom that floated around her waist. Wearing wedge sandals and her hair up in a high-top tail, she looked like a teenager again. Rita had opted for a comfortable mint-and-fuchsia floral-print maxi skirt and white crop top, with her natural-colored flat sandals for comfort.
But it was Sharae whose bright-yellow romper accented her rich skin tone and offset the brilliant smile she had when she introduced them to Desmond just a little while ago. Now she was standing near the bar that Uncle Jimmy was working proudly with his self-taught expertise, and laughing at something Ivan and Desmond said.
“She looks so happy,” Vi said when she came to stand next to Rita.
“Yes,” Rita replied. “She does.”
