Page 89 of Border Control
I round on her. “Have you been ripped from the most important case in your life? Have you got someone clamoring over all your deepest thoughts?”
She blinks at me. “No, but it sounds like that dick was asking for it. I’m glad you knocked him into next Tuesday, and I wish we’d gotten back ten minutes earlier so I could’ve seen it. And Gara knows all my thoughts anyway, I ADHD over him all the time.”
Oh, Arabella. She’ll never understand.
Ellen holds up a hand. “Having your privacy, um, invaded, must be distressing. Is there no way to tone it down or shut it off?”
“We’ve been practicing shields. Creating rooms in my head. But it's a lot of effort, and it's not perfect. It's not enough to stop emotions boiling between us and causing issues with the other Parthiastocks.” I fold my arms. Why does this feel like such a betrayal of Dom? I’m just restating my boundaries. “I want it gone. I don't want to accidentally set Nevare off or cause anyone to get hurt, and, if I’m going to get my life back, I need to befocused. I can’t have the peanut gallery commenting every five seconds.”
Dom falls to his knees with a big crack on the creamy stone flagons. “I can’t help my thoughts, Law-rah. I’m trying to stop thinking for you.”
“Oh, my heart.” Ellen’s lip trembles. “What a sweetie.”
Ilia puts a huge hand on her shoulder. “I can stop thinking for you too, my love.”
She pats his knuckles. “I love you just the way you are, but let’s focus on these two for now. Is there anything that quietens you down for Laura, Dom?”
The huge purple alien slides me a look. Despite the situation, a little jolt of heat shoots straight to my core at the fire in his eyes. “Only when we’re working together in a scene.”
“He means sex,” I say quickly.
Arabella’s eyebrow raises, but she doesn’t say anything.
Ellen’s face creases at him. No doubt she feels pity for the alien, but when she turns to look at me, I see the same expression in her eyes.
I don’t want her pity, I’m trying to fix it. It will get fixed. I can’t live the way I have for the last few months. It’s impossible.
“Are you sure this is the only way?” my oldest friend asks.
“Positive,” I reply. “We’ve been trying Parthiastock techniques for weeks. We need help, and it seems like the only place we’re going to get it is Oloria.”
Dom gets up in a smooth motion, towering over me again. “Then we won’t delay. It will take two Earth weeks to get there, so we should start now.”
“What about Nevare?” I ask. “Doesn’t he need you?”
“Arik will be able to manage him,” Dom says quietly, not looking me in the eyes. The implication stands clear: he’ll be able to cope when I’m not there seesawing the bond back and forth with my anxiety attacks.
I wrap my arms across my chest. “Good. I don’t have any work, obviously. All I need to do is go pack a bag.”
“Please, don’t do this,” Arabella says.
“I have no choice. I can’t live like this. I can’t help anyone, I can’t get Morgan fired, and I can’t get justice for Accu-care’s victims.” All because I lost control of my life.
Dom’s hands settle on my upper arms, the warmth from them spreading up to my shoulders. “I’ll do whatever it takes, Law-rah. I swear.”
“And I’ll keep you safe and return you here as if nothing happened,” I promise. “All nice and separated.” At last, everything back in its place.
His thick thumbs stroke my shoulders. One upside: it does feel nice to be able to do this in the open, in front of my friends. “You cannot promise that,” he says. “But I trust you, so please trust me. I will rectify this.”
I want to believe him. I want to hand it all over to him and let him fix it, but we tried that.
Did I really? Did I practice as hard as I could with the exercises he gave me? Or have I given up too soon?
I shake my head. That’s fear talking.
So, to silence the alarm bells ringing in my mind, I take a deep, steadying breath of my planet’s fresh air. I’ve decided, so there’s no going back. “Let’s go.”
TWENTY-THREE
