Page 61 of The Bound Mage
The bond stretched taut between them, his anguish swelling in her chest. It choked her, threatening to sweep her away with the intensity of it. She hated it. Hated knowing that he’d done it for her.
“You’re my mate,” he whispered, his bright green eyes never leaving hers. “I’ll always protect you, Araya.”
“At the cost of your own people?” She shook her head. “Are you even the same male who let the Arcanum torture him for twenty-five years rather than give themanythingthey might be able to use?”
He flinched from her words, but didn’t deny it.
“I’m going back, Loren,” she said.
The shadows stirred at that, hissing softly.
“That won’t stop him,” Loren argued. “When he realizes you’re bonded to me?—”
“I can’t let them kill people because of me.” Araya stared past him, resolutely fixing her eyes on a crack in the stone wall behind him. Because if she looked at him…she might not be able to break his heart. “I can transfer control of the shadows to someone else. It won’t fix everything, but at least the fae can survive here?—”
“Using what? Fae blood and bone?” Loren sneered. “What you did with Jaxon Shaw is an abomination, Araya. The Small Council will never agree to it.”
“They’re desperate,” Araya said grimly. “They don’t have a choice. And then I’ll go back…and we can put all of this behind us.”
Loren stared at her. He didn’t explode, or yell, or threaten her. He just…looked at her. Like he had no idea who she was. “Is that what you really want?”
Araya forced herself to hold his gaze. The bond howled in her chest again, clawing at her ribs with every heartbeat. She wanted him to scream at her. To fight. She wanted toshakehim for every silence he’d kept when he could have told her the truth, every deception leading them closer and closer tothis.
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” she said. “It never did.”
For a moment, she thought he might argue. But he just nodded once, standing slowly like he wasn’t quite sure of what to do.
“I’ll tell Thorne you’re awake,” was all he said. Then he turned, gathering his shadows around him like a shield as he crossed to the door. Only the smallest lingered, its cool touch brushing across her skin as it hesitated. It hovered there for a long, silent moment—then slipped silently after him, leaving her truly alone.
Araya stared down at her hands in her lap. There was no blood on them. But there should have been.
Maybe one day Loren would understand that this was the only way. She’d made her choice a long time ago. First, when she gave up her name to the Arcanum. Then again when she’d agreed to become Jaxon Shaw’s bond. That was the path she had to walk, even if it broke her.
Chapter
Twenty-Seven
Araya spentdays drifting between sleep and waking.
Sometimes she surfaced to find Thorne by the window, thumbing through one of the books she’d asked him to bring. Other times it was Ilyana who eased her upright with patient hands, coaxing her to sip from steaming bowls of broth.
“What exactly are you trying to figure out here?” Thorne asked at last, tossing the thin volume he’d been leafing through down on the bed.
Araya picked it up, smoothing her hand over the cover. The table beside her bed was stacked high with more of the same—official accountings of fae succession and royal mating bonds, records of the fae monarchy’s first years in exile, religious texts detailing proper burial rites—thousands of years, boiled down to nothing but words.
“It’s just a theory I’m working on,” she said.
Thorne hummed, his sharp gaze lingering, but he let the non-answer pass. “Loren wants me to take you back to Ithralis now that you’re stronger.”
“Does it even matter where I am?” Araya asked, picking at the embroidery on the coverlet rather than meet his eyes. “It’s not like I’ve seen him.”
“He’s been busy,” Thorne said carefully. “He and Eloria have been holding the Small Council at bay—but they’re demanding their turn with you. If you’re at Ithralis, it’s harder for them to reach you.”
“Don’t they deserve the chance to question me?” Araya laughed bitterly. “Look at what Jaxon has done because of me. Look at whatIdid in the square. I’d want to question me too.”
“You aren’t responsible for his actions.” Thorne laid his hand over hers, stilling her restless fingers. “And no one was seriously hurt in the square. It’s agoodthing that your power manifested. Shielding is a valuable skill. If you cultivate it?—”
“I want to talk to the Small Council,” Araya cut him off. “As soon as possible.”
