Page 210 of Crank (Crank 1)

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to explore,

to expand,

to excavate.

The most incredible place I’d

ever been was right inside of me.

If I left, I might never find

it again, and so I refused

to sink down,

to close the door,

to rebuild the wall.

When someone offered a second dose

of birthday E, I said, “Absolutely.”

And when someone broke

out the crank, I was ready

to snort up,

to smoke up,

to shoot up.

I should have been scared to death.

But ecstasy dissolves all fear.

Unforgettable Birthdays

aren’t easy to come by.

Do you remember

your 4th? Your 12th?

To my 90th birthday,

I will never forget my 17th.

If you do remember

them, why?

It was a day of firsts: giving

myself willingly to ecstasy.

To a man. A needle.

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