Darren: FAKE DATING
Me: Oh
Me: Right
Me: No, no problems
Me: It’ll be like we told your dad
Me: Just for the money
Me: Vince won’t care
Darren: I was more worried about Paul and Corey
Me: They are vicious little things, aren’t they?
Darren: That’s probably an understatement
Darren: Did I tell you Paul called me?
Me: What? When?
Darren: The day after they caught us in the Lair
Me: He did?!?! What did he say????
Darren: He threatened me
Me: HE WHAT
Darren: Said if I ever hurt you, he’d come after me
Darren: and murder me. Then use acid to melt the remains
Darren: and that he would laugh while doing it.
Darren: He said he wouldn’t feel bad at all
Darren: And that he probably wouldn’t even get caught
Me: WHAT
Darren: I’ll admit. I was almost scared
Darren: And then Johnny Depp started screaming that Paul was raping him
Darren: And that someone needed to save him from Paul’s pencil dick
Darren: I told him I wasn’t scared of him anymore
Darren: So he hung up on me
Me: WHAT THE HELL
Darren: So. That’s your best friend
Darren: Murderer and bird rapist
