Page 22 of Slammed Into Inferno

Nodding my head in response to him, “Yeah… Look, I am sorry it has taken me so long to talk to you…. I’m,” I hesitate and sigh. “I’m not good at expressing my feelings to people or to people I care deeply about.” The words are on the tip of my tongue as we are standing in his entryway. We have not moved since he invited me in.

He is silent for what feels an eternity. “Evie, you are the one who said that you couldn’t do this. There was no discussion after you made your mind up. I did not get a say in this at all. I told you how I am in love with you and it was as if you did not even give a damn about my feelings. Fuck, I still do, which makes me look like the dumbass here when you cannot even make up your goddamn mind on to what you want, Evie.”

I can feel the tears rolling down my face as he tells me this, “Declan…” The words are right there, and I cannot say them. Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with me? Why can’t I tell this beautiful man I love him too?

Declan bites his lip and simply shakes his head and chuckles. “I am one fucking sad piece of shit who is head over heels in love with you, you cannot even tell me how you feel, can you, Evie?”

“Declan… I…” I cannot even get the words out to him. The tears are rolling down my face faster at this point.

We are now staring at each other; Declan breathes heavily and moves closer to me and grabs me by the nape of my neck and slams his soft lips to mine. It feels like home kissing him. The kiss is hard, sloppy, and rough. Our teeth clatter and Declan is putting all his emotions into this kiss, and I am putting it right back. He pushes me against the wall, and I wrap my legs around him. I put my hands in his hair and tug at it, which makes him growl into my mouth and I moan a little.

He moves his lips to my jaw and then down my neck, whispering, “I’ve missed you, Evie. Please tell me you feel the same way. Please.” I pull away from him and I look him in the eyes.

“Evie?” he asks me in a soft whisper.

I go to open my mouth; he goes to pull away from me and I drop my legs back to the ground. He clears his throat, “I think you should leave, Evie; I cannot do this again and have you break my heart a second time.”

“Dec…” It’s all but a whisper as he walks over to the door to open it for me to leave.

I go to kiss him on his cheek, cupping his face with my other hand. What I did not expect was for him to pull away from me. I know right now I have hurt this man so deeply by being a coward and not telling him how I feel. That is why I came all the way over to his place, for some reason, the words are stuck in my throat. Yes, I know I love this man and I cannot even tell him. All I can do is blame myself, and I do not deserve this man at all.

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