Page 88 of Carved in Ice (Made of Steel 3)

I didn’t have to be strong all by myself. After all these years of feeling alone, I finally had him back. I let my tears mix with the water cascading down on us. And I let him hold me up. I let him support me. And I tried to let go of all the pain.

Chapter 39

Wednesday

I woke up tangled up in him. And I couldn’t imagine a more perfect way to start the day. I breathed in his familiar scent and smiled. My head was pressed against his chest and his arms were wrapped tightly around me. I had never felt more secure.

I didn’t remember changing out of my wet robe. Or how I wound up in his bed. I was just happy to be there. He had held me all night. He had been there when I needed him. And it did erase some of the pain. It made my heart feel whole again.

But then I realized something startling. The side of my face wasn’t just pressed against his chest. It was pressed against his bare chest. He wasn’t wearing his hoodie. And the familiar smell wasn’t his expensive cologne. He smelled like grass and sunshine. He smelled like Miles. My eyes flew open but they were greeted by darkness. I reached up and felt fabric covering my eyes.

“Wait,” his voice rumbled as he pulled my hand away from the fabric. “Just…I need to explain. Everything.”

“Did you blindfold me?”

He laughed. “I didn’t want you to wake up in the middle of the night and see me. Not until I told you the truth.”

Last night wasn’t the right moment. But apparently this was. And I had a few things I needed to say too. I sat up in the bed and felt a soft material clinging to me. “Did you change me into…” I ran my hand down what I was wearing. “Into a t-shirt last night?”

“You passed out in the shower. I didn’t want you to catch a cold in that wet robe. But I need to apologize for something a little bigger than seeing you naked.”

“I forgive you.” As soon as I said it, I realized that he’d have no idea what I was talking about. “Not just for the changing my clothes and blindfolding me thing. That’s all fine. I mean I forgive you for all of it. For whatever you’re about to say. And I’m sorry too. God, I’m so so sorry.” I reached for my blindfold again, but he grabbed my hand to stop me.

“You don’t even know what I’m apologizing for yet.”

“I have a feeling that whatever it is, you did it for a good reason.”

“You don’t understand.” His voice sounded strained. The bed dipped slightly as he sat up beside me. “I just want you to hear me out. I’m worried that you’re going hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve actually said 'I hate you' to me on multiple occasions and absolutely meant it. And I’ve been waiting for you to come around. I’ve been waiting for you to…accept me I guess? I don’t know. It sounds stupid when I say it out loud. And I should have just been honest with you from the beginning. But I was so angry with you. I couldn’t just turn off that feeling when I saw you. It was there. And I needed time to forgive you too. Because I thought…” his voice trailed off. “I had this whole speech planned and as soon as I started talking I forgot what I was going to say. And it’s probably better if I just…”

“I know. I’m sorry too.”

“You still don’t know what I’m apologizing for.”

“Keeping your identity a secret. Lying to me. And for giving up on me all those years ago. But I did the same to you. All of it. And I wish I could take it all back. I never should have stopped believing in you.” I reached out and placed my hand on his chest. I finally felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be. “But you never really gave up on me right?” I ran my fingers along the spot where I remembered his tattoo of an arrow was. “You kept me right by your heart. Where I belong.”

He lowered the blindfold from my face.

I wasn’t sure I had ever seen anything so perfect. His hair was mussed up from sleeping. There was stubble along his jaw line. His deep brown eyes were staring right at me. And he was smiling out of the corner of his mouth.

How many nights had I lain in bed dreaming of that smile? How many nights had I dreamed that he was out there thinking of me too?

He tossed something onto his nightstand and then ran his hand down the side of my face. “You already knew?” He sounded just like Miles

again instead of V. He must have removed the voice-altering device.

“I already knew.” I leaned into his touch. “I thought I hated you too. But God, how could I? I’ve always loved you so freaking much. It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a mask or not. I love you, Miles. And I’ve missed you.” I threw my arms around him.

He groaned and I immediately pulled back.

For the first time I saw the bandage on the side of his stomach. It was tinged in red. He had held me all night, but he was the one in actual pain. “Your stitches. Miles, I’m so sorry. We should probably change the bandage.” I reached out, but he caught my hand.

“It’s okay.” He winced but pulled me back into his chest. “I feel like I’ve waited a lifetime for this moment. And I’m not going to wait another second.”

I smiled against his chest. “Did you know I was Summer before the letter I left you?” I felt foolish for thinking V had snuck into Miles’ dorm room and taken the letter. Of course it had just been Miles the whole time. Of course it had.

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