My phone dinged almost immediately.
"Stop staring at his abs and feed me!"
I laughed and shoved my phone back into my bag. I wasn't staring at his abs. Stupid margaritas.
Since it was almost five o'clock, it was time to go into the ocean and cool off. It gave me just enough time to come out right before the lifeguards would leave for the day. I told myself I didn't want him to notice me. But maybe I did. I shook away the thought and made my way down to the water.
I never gracefully walked into the ocean. The water was freezing in June and if I didn't run, I could never force myself to go all the way in. I ran through the waves, held back the stupidly shrill scream that wanted to escape my throat, and dove into the water before the waves could knock me over. There was no better feeling than saltwater on my skin. And the sun reflecting off the top of the water, somehow warming me despite the frigid temperature. Complete and utter bliss. Screw Aiden. Screw SMU. Screw the whole freaking west coast. This was living.
A few minutes later whistles began to blow. The lifeguards up and down the shore signaled people to come out of the water. It was a rather silly game. They made everyone get out while they left. And as soon as they were out of sight, everyone always just went back in the water. I guess it gave the lifeguards peace of mind if something were to happen after their watch had ended. Which of course happened occasionally. After all, sharks came out at night. As well as skanks named Rebecca. Stop thinking about Aiden. He’s a life-sized dick hat. I awkwardly laughed out loud at my own thought. What the heck is a life-sized dick hat? Regardless, Aiden was absolutely one.
I held my breath and went under water once more. Saltwater was my new favorite hair product. And it was currently the only one I could afford. I wrung out my hair as I made my way out of the ocean.
The other lifeguards that I could see were all pushing their stands up to dryer sand. But my lifeguard was staring at me. My lifeguard. I laughed at myself. Well, it seemed like he was staring at me. He was looking in my general direction, but I couldn't see his eyes behind his aviators. He was probably just annoyed that I hadn't gotten out of the water yet.
While I was staring awkwardly at him, I felt something brush against my leg. Before I could move, a sharp pain seared the inside of my thigh. "Ow," I said way too loudly. What the hell was that? It burned way worse than my feet in the hot san
d. And it seemed like it got worse every second. I looked around but the water was too cloudy to see anything. "Ow!" I almost yelled as I felt another sharp pain right below my ass. I tried to run out of the water, but the pain from the stings made it more of an adorable hobble. And by adorable I mean a hideous ogre hobble. When I finally made it to the shore, I looked down at the inside of my right thigh. There was already a red line. I turned my head to look at the matching red line right below my bathing suit bottom. Couldn't they have been in less awkward places?
I tried not to grimace as I ungracefully walked back to my towel. If the lifeguard hadn't been watching me before, he definitely was now. And now I was I certain that I had never wanted him to notice me in the first place. Especially not at this moment. I'd go home and google what to do. I silently willed him to just go home and ignore me.
As I walked toward my towel, he approached my towel from where he was. He knows where I sit? I quickly realized that my towel was one of the only ones left on the beach. Of course he doesn't know where I sit.
"Hey, are you okay?" he asked.
"Umm...yes," I said through a clenched jaw. I sat down on my towel and pressed my thighs together. Ow, that makes it hurt more.
"You don't seem okay. What happened?"
"I don't know. I felt something sting me. But it's fine. Really."
"Well let me see it. I can tell you what it was."
I laughed awkwardly. "Nope. That's okay. I don't need to know."
"Don't be ridiculous. I have stuff to help whatever it is. Where did it get you?"
"It's, well..." I sighed and looked down at my legs.
"Oh." He gave me a small smile. "You don't have to be embarrassed, it's my job." He shrugged his shoulders.
Right. I was making this so much more awkward than it needed to be. He was just trying to do his job. He probably had to deal with stuff like this all the time.
He knelt down in the sand in front of me. He put his hand on my right knee and pushed my thigh out to the side. He leaned forward and traced his index finger right underneath the sting. Holy shit. I suddenly forgot about the pain. I swallowed hard.
"It was a jellyfish. I actually have just the thing for that." He let go of my leg and stood up.
No. God, no. "Oh please don't. I can't..." I let my voice trail off. I knew what he was about to do.
"It'll just take a minute."
"No. I...please, I can't ask you to pee on me."
He laughed. "Um, golden showers aren't really my thing..."
"What?"
"That's what it's called when you pee on...you know what, never mind." He scratched the back of his neck and laughed. "I have a spray bottle of stuff. It's not my pee, I swear. I'll be right back."