Page 52 of Single Girl Rules #BananaParty

Early Morning - Saturday, Sept 14, 2013

The pilot's voice on the intercom startled me awake.

“We’re beginning our final descent. Please fasten your seatbelts.”

Hard pass on the seatbelt thing. I was way too comfy for such silliness. But I appreciated the warning that we’d be landing soon. I needed to thank my friends for the best girls’ night ever.

“Girls?” I said. Esme and Zoraida were wide awake doing their flight attendant duties. But Ash and Slavanka were out cold.

I shook them both.

“Huh?” asked Ash, wiping some drool from her face.

Slavanka, on the other hand, shot right up with her whip in her hand, ready to strike.

“Whoa!” I said, putting my hands up.

Her stance softened when she saw it was just me. She gave me a little tsk tsk. “Never startle Russian.”

“Right. Ash, you awake?”

She slowly sat up. “Yeah. What’s up?”

“I just wanted to thank you girls for the best girls’ night ever. No. Scratch that. The best night ever.”

“Are you kidding?” asked Ash. “Thank you. You planned all of that. And while I could have done without the fake arre

st, I freaking loved the rest of it. I mean…what kind of party gives you $1200 on your way out the door?”

“I only get $400,” said Slavanka with a frown.

Ash rubbed her eyes and looked over my shoulder. “What’s going on with them?”

I turned around to look at Ghost and Teddybear. “Oh, just pretend like they’re not here.”

“I wasn’t concerned about them being here. I was more curious about the duct tape, blindfold, and headphones.”

“Noise-canceling headphones,” I corrected. “I was gonna make them ride in the cargo hold, but Teddybear begged to ride up here. And after they saved my life from that crazy gunman on the helicopter, it seemed mean to not let them. But I also didn’t wanna be a bad girlfriend. Can you imagine how pissed Chad would be if he found out that they got to ride with us? I promised him there would be no boys at girls’ night.”

Ash gave me a funny look. “That seems pretty minor compared to some of the other stuff you did tonight.”

“Like what?”

“Uh…all the cheating.”

“What cheating? Single Girl Rule #40: At a bachelorette party, every girl is single again. You can’t cheat if you’re single!”

Ash shook her head. “I really don’t think he’s gonna agree with that rule. Although I guess he didn’t seem too mad about that selfie you sent him. I still can’t believe you actually sent him that.”

“I actually just sent him a selfie of all of us in our pajamas at your Banana Party. Or…outside of it. When you’re were running away from the strippers on the green.”

“Hey!” She threw a pillow at me. “I can’t believe you lied to us!”

“Technically you just dared me to send a Banana Party selfie. And I did.”

“Boo!” yelled Ash. “Lame!”

“Well in my defense, I was planning on showing him the selfies today. I just wanted to show him in person so that he could anger bang me. But after what happened with the Banana Race and the Banana King…I think I’m gonna take a different approach. How fun will it be when he’s just surfing Pornhub and sees me on Banana Party’s latest video?”

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