Page 70 of Missing Pieces (Men of Manhattan 3)

Again he didn't say anything. And again it made my blood boil.

"God, I'm such an idiot," I said.

"No. No, Hails. I feel it too."

I shook my head.

"You make me feel whole again." He stepped forward, effectively sandwiching me between him and the wall. "You make me feel like there's something worth living for."

I watched his Adam's apple rise and fall.

"You make me feel like I'm not broken. I'm so sick of feeling broken."

"You're not broken, Tyler." I touched the side of his face. "Not to me."

He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss against my lips. I leaned into him. But this was different than our other kisses. There was no haste. It was slow and passionate. And if it was possible, I loved it even more.

"You deserve more than what I can give you," he whispered against my lips. "You deserve so much more."

"I just want you. I only want what you can give me."

He lifted me in his arms and placed me gently on the bed. His face looked pained. Maybe he didn't feel like he could say how he felt. But that was okay, because he didn't have to say it. He wanted to give me the world. I could see it in his eyes. And I just hoped that I was enough for him. That I could fill that hole in his heart.

I held my breath as he knelt down in front of me on the bed. He locked eyes with me as he spread my thighs apart and leaned down betw

een them. He kissed the inside of my thigh and made a slow ascent up.

Jesus.

Every other time we had been intimate I had asked him to fuck me. But that wasn't what I wanted in this moment. I wanted all of him. His body, his soul, his heart. He already had mine.

***

My chest felt tight because we hadn't come to any understanding. He made love to me like it was his last chance. Not like it was the start of something great, but like it was the end. I didn't want to face reality. I wanted to live in this dream world that we created. Where we traveled all over the US and stayed in fancy hotels. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I wasn't ready to face whatever came next.

Tyler's arms were wrapped tightly around me and his breathing was deep. I knew he was asleep. I turned toward him and stared at his perfect face in the darkness. "I love you," I whispered to him. And I knew he couldn't hear me. It was probably better than way. But I also knew I'd regret it my whole life if I never told him. "I love you, Tyler Stevens."

My eyes prickled with tears. Today was going to be hard. First I had to get down on my hands and knees and beg Elena for money that I feared she wouldn't give me. And then I had to say goodbye to Tyler. Even though my heart was filled with fear at the idea of seeing Elena, I knew the latter would be harder. Saying goodbye to Tyler was going to break me. Especially since I didn't understand why I had to. I didn't understand why his heart wasn't big enough for me, why no one's ever was.

The sun was starting to stream through the windows, casting shadows across Tyler's face. Maybe I was crazy. I didn't really know Tyler. I didn't know his dreams and goals. I didn't even know his middle name. All I knew was his pain. But in my heart, I knew that if this side of him was so wonderful, if he gave me all of him, it would be amazing. I was in love with this pained version of him because it was a reflection of myself. And for a brief moment, we had both been so much better, so much happier.

I studied the scruff along his strong jaw line and the slope of his nose. I tried to memorize every detail. I wanted something to hold on to when I went home. Something good. Something more hopeful than the fear that resided in my own heart. And even as I thought it, I felt myself putting my walls back up. I just hoped it wasn't too late to protect myself from shattering into a million pieces.

Chapter 38

Tyler

Thursday

I woke up to the sound of the TV. I slowly opened my eyes. Hailey was sitting on the edge of the bed in a tank top and cutoff jean shorts, completely engrossed in the TV. I glanced at the screen.

The news reporter was standing outside the hospital talking about how tech mogul, James Hunter, had just woken up from his coma. I quickly sat up in bed. "He's awake?"

Hailey turned toward me and smiled. "Yeah."

"Thank God." I sighed. I hadn't realized how worried I had actually been until it was finally over. He was awake. Penny was going to be okay. I didn't have to worry anymore. I don't have to think about her anymore. Maybe I could finally let go. Maybe we really could just be friends. I stared at the back of Hailey's head. The truth was, I didn't have feelings for Penny anymore. Josh was probably right. When I had met her, I needed something good to hold on to. What if I was doing the same thing with Hailey? If I was being honest, I was scared shitless of joining the marines. Maybe I was focusing on her so much because it made me feel better. I needed to stop making the same mistakes. I needed to stick to my gut and focus on the decisions I had already made. In three years, if I really did feel the same way, I'd find her. But I couldn't think about that right now. For once in my life, I had to focus on myself.

"Are you going to call her?" Hailey asked. "To see if she's okay?"

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