Page 6 of Playing for Keeps (Checkmate 4)

I spin with a hand on my heart when the door slams open and bounces off the wall.

Oz and Alex fly into the room –cops, or family?– then two fresh faced nurses follow on their heels. Turning back to Riley with disbelief that this is really happening, that I’m really being thrown out of his hospital room, I study him from the blue and white hospital gown covering most of his chest, to the waffle blankets covering his legs. From the identification bracelet that wraps around his wrist and proves the man I considered invincible is just as human as the rest of us, to the plastic urinal sitting on the bedside table; empty, but wet like it was rinsed not so long ago.

“I only just heard yesterday. I wasn’t avoiding you. As soon as Lindsi told me you got hurt, I came right over.” I step forward with a pathetically quivering lip. “First flight, I swear.” I’m not an easily spooked woman. I’m rarely scared, never shy, and I never listen. So despite his vehement request that I fuck right off, today won’t be the day I start using my ears. Moving around the far side of his bed while pretending my knees aren’t knocking together, I ignore the plastic bottle on the bedside table, the half-consumed bottle of orange juice, the unread newspapers… the cellphone that sits close enough Iknowhe could have answered me.

Hechosenot to.

“Riley.” With my heart in my throat, I reach forward and take his fisted hand. It remains rock hard, veined, and unrelenting even when I stroke my thumb over his wrist. “What happened to you? I’ve missed you for weeks, I tried to call you a billion times, but no one told me you got hurt.”

He looks over me, past me,throughme like I don’t exist. His indifference stings, it sears my nerve endings and brings burning tears to the backs of my eyes. “Remove her, X. Now. Then I want the hospital made aware of my wishes.”

“Riley? No.” My tears spill over. “I’m here to see you. Don’t toss me out.”

“Now,” he grits through clenched teeth. “Get her the fuck out now before I get up and remove her myself.”

Oz steps forward, like I’m his responsibility, since I belong to Lindsi. “Time to go, Andi.”

“No!” I twist out of his hold and turn back. “I don’t want to go! Why aren’t you listening to me? I came here to see you; what did I do that was so awful that I deserve to be kicked out?”

“Get her out!” he roars. It’s so loud, my ears ring and spittle flies from Riley’s mouth. But that’s fine, because I can shout, too. I can step up and demand attention; I’ve been doing it all my life.

“Why am I the villain here?” I fight Oz’s hands and stare directly into eyes that I was so sure I’d stupidly fallen in love with at some point this year. If Riley thinks he can cut the cord now that he stole my heart, then he has another thing coming – in the shape of a baseball bat and a reminder that he can’t hurt me like that. If I’m going to be stupid enough to give my heart away, then he sure as shit better be there with a pillow of feathers to hold it with. “Sure, I was a dick to you last time we spoke, but hell, I’m a dick to loads of people. It might have warranted a weekend of cold shoulder,notthree weeks and a physical removal from your hospital room. What the fuck, Cruz?” I smack Oz’s hands away, and kick when he just won’t stop. “What? What’s the problem?”

“Get her out!” Riley throws his arm out like I don’t know the direction of the exit. His blankets shift with his movements, lowers, and moves again when his legs move. “Remove her. I’m talking to the cops, not my friends. I’m making a formal request to keep her away from me and my properties.”

“Riley?” Anger. Heartbreak. Fury. Devastation. It all swirls together and hurts when I focus on the ice in his eyes. From a fiery rage, to icy cold detachment; the ice hurts so much more. Tears slide over my cheek and make me feel dumb. I don’t cry for boys, but here I am, missing a heart, but granted tears and shaking legs. “Why are you doing this? I just wanted to say hello. I wanted to check in and make sure you’re okay.”

I have half a second to wonder if he changed his mind, if my tears unlocked whatever wall he’s hiding behind. When he reaches out for me, I go and prepare to be engulfed by an all-consuming hug and told everything is okay. My heart unclenches and prepares to climb onto his bed for the hug I’ve been wanting for weeks, but my fantasies are quashed when his hand clutches to the collar of my shirt and squeezes until he cuts off my air.

Leaning forward with rage and pain swirling in his eyes, Riley’s teeth snap just two inches from my face. “Get the fuck out, Andi. Get back on a plane, andnevercome back here again. I’m done with you. Ineverwant to see you again.” He shoves me away so hard, I slam against Oz’s broad chest and almost lose my footing.

Ben pushes into the room – my savior, my hero – and steamrolls to my side of the bed like he’s willing to beat Riley to defend my honor. On a string of curses and swinging fists, Alex pulls Ben back. My nephew fights the police of chief for me, but there’s nothing I can do to stop it, because Oz pulls me back with just as much steam as his boss.

Riley’s nurses push forward to help their patient. They fight his batting hands and attempt to fix his blankets. They’re just trying to tidy the mess he made when he shoved me away, but he refuses their help and fights them off. Their fussing hands enrage him, but the brunt of his anger remains all mine as he watches Oz drag me toward the door.

Before today, I could have sworn Riley would protect me from anything. I would have sworn he’d step in front of danger and make it so I never have to know pain. But he watches me now, he watches Oz’s rough hands and my screeching to be let free, and he does nothing to make it all better.

Fighting Oz’s hold, I twist away a second time – because I’m a glutton for punishment, and I’m not done with Riley yet – but though Oz got me over the threshold and into the hall, though the door attempts to swing closed and block my way, I still see Riley.

I still see the rage in his eyes.

But worse, so much worse, I see the young nurse fluff his blankets and show me something that I’ll never be able to un-see.

Something that can never be fixed.

Struck dumb, waves crash in my head as I stand at the door and watch Riley’s gaze swing back to mine. No anger this time, but pure heartbreak passes through his beautiful eyes when the fluffing nurse moves his blankets too far and reveals his leg.

Leg. One. Singular.

Tears well in Riley’s eyes. Insecurity, fear, helplessness; they coalesce until big, strong, badass-with-a-baby-face Riley cries right in front of my eyes and bile rises in my throat.

“Andi.” Oz’s strong hands take my arms. “It’s time to go.”

I don’t fight him anymore. Riley wants me gone, and I need to leave before I make this worse for him. Spinning out of Oz’s hold, I escape the room half blind from tears and skid on the smooth floors. My sneakers squeak against linoleum as I race past my family in the waiting room. Past the thirty plastic chairs, past vending machines, past a nurse’s desk, empty now because they’re in the room with Riley. I blindly sprint the halls, and take a sharp left when I find a public bathroom. Pushing inside and slamming the door with a cry, I stop at the sink and flip the taps on with shaking hands.

I never cry, especially not over boys, but I cryforRiley today. I cry for the hurt in his eyes, and for the worry in his heart. I cry because he’ll never be the same again, and I cry because his pain hurts me. I cry so hard, I blow snot bubbles from my nose.

Splashing icy cold water onto my skin and inhaling more than I should, I spin when the door creaks open.

---