Page 71 of Your Two Lips
Bob laughed. “Lucas tried to build a second level to his fort one year.”
“It would have worked if I’d made a few adjustments in the foundation and mudded the connections better from the start.”
“He built it right in the middle of the tractor path next to a fallow field, one that wasn’t planted in the past year to improve the soil. When it was time to prepare the field for fall bulbs again, the fort had to be moved,” Bob said, shaking his head.
“There was no way to move it in one piece.” Lucas jumped in to tell his story. “So, I did the noble thing. I demolished it myself with the small tractor on the last day of summer vacation. It was demolition derby-style awesome. And I learned a valuable lesson I use today, particularly when writing code. If it’s broken from the beginning, the best way to fix it may be to tear it down and start again.”
Broken from the beginning. Lucas’s words bounced around in my chest.
“Your kids will inherit your wisdom, dear brother,” Tess said, then paused. “Finn’s kids will have his proclivity for getting dirty, and mine will have my impeccable sense of style.”
“That’s right. Only the good stuff.” Donna laughed. “Don’t hand down the bad stuff.”
“What bad stuff?” Lucas and Tess chimed together, then high-fived across the table.
“Let’s see, picky eating, stubborn.” She glanced around, not stopping on either of the three long enough to convict anyone in particular. “Bad sleep habits, and the bathrooms people—the torture of innocent bathrooms. You know who you are.”
“That was all Finn and Tess,” Lucas said to his mom with a wink. “I was framed.”
This family was full of love and laughter, and great food. My heart ached with another loss. When I said goodbye to Finn, I would say goodbye to them, too.
44
EMILY
I wasfull and sleepy and lounging across Finn’s sofa. My body had finally released the anxiety I had been holding in at dinner. Finn’s family was awesome. He had a great life ahead of him.
“You’re quiet tonight. Are you feeling okay?” Finn asked.
“Dinner was lovely. I think I’m tired. I should head home.”
He paused. “Stay. We can sleep. I’m tired too. We both have to be up early.” He leaned in. “I want to hold you.”
God, I wanted that. “I don’t have clothes for work tomorrow or my medicine. It would be easier.” I stood up.
Finn looked at me from the sofa. “Next time, why don’t you bring a few things to leave here. Make it easier to stay. Or plan to stay for the weekends.”
My heart hammered. First, it was a drawer and closet space. Then it would be, ‘why don’t you move in’ and I would want to. I couldn’t.
“I didn’t think we were getting that serious.” I winked, keeping my smile light.
“What if I want to get serious? Would that be bad?” He stood and brushed his thumb across my cheek so tenderly.
“That isn’t what I’m saying. You’re amazing, and I love spending time with you. We’re good, aren’t we?” I pressed my hands to his chest.
“I think we could be more.” His expression was tentative, vulnerable. In my mind, I begged him not to push. I wanted a little longer before I had to give him up.
“Finn, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
He stepped back, breaking our connection. His eyes had lost some of their warmth. Not angry. Shuttered. “Okay. Sure.”
I scrambled to recover. “I’ll see you on Wednesday afternoon for our ride. Let’s make some plans for next weekend.”
He nodded. I wrapped my arms around him, needing his solid strength. “Thank you for inviting me tonight. I’ve missed family dinners. Thanks for sharing yours with me.”
“You’re welcome.” He said it like I was thanking him for holding a door or handing me an apple. Casual, like he would say it to any other woman.
My steps were heavy, and I clutched my middle despite the warm evening as I walked to my car. I felt the connection between us strain. The string pulling me back as I moved away. I drove home in unsettled silence.
