Page 110 of The Life We Almost Had

I don’t know who I am.

My head hurts. My body hurts. My heart hurts.

Anna sniffs. She doesn’t let go of my hands to find a tissue. Her tears drip onto my forearm. I can’t wipe them away.

‘I won’t give up. Adam wouldn’t want me to give up either,’ she says.

But she’s wrong.

Her sitting day after day in this room, living out a life, a fantasy almost, that can’t be real, no matter how solid it feels, means she’s missing out on the outside world because of me. Putting her health at risk.

You could have died, Anna.

This isn’t what I want at all.

I summon up every ounce of energy in my body to tell her this, but my voice remains silent when I speak.

Anna, don’t kill yourself over me. I’m not there, I’m here. I’m everywhere.

I’m nowhere.

But no matter where my mind hops to, my heavy, unresponsive body remains in this bed.

A 3 per cent chance of recovery, I had overheard.

If you love someone, set them free.

She needs to let me go.

I need to let her go.

I won’t let her destroy herself, miss out on living her life to the fullest because of me. I love her too much for that.

‘One last time,’ Oliver says. ‘Just to say goodbye.’

He’s caved. I knew he would but it doesn’t matter. I know what I have to do.

Chapter Seventy-Two

Oliver

Oliver knows Anna’s right. He’d want the chance to say goodbye to Clem, it seems only fair. He’s shaking as he watches Sofia help her with the goggles through the console room window.

One last time.

Thirty minutes.

He’s here to monitor every second.

Nothing can go wrong.

Can it?

Chapter Seventy-Three

Adam

My body is slid onto a cold hard surface. I want to shout no. To tell Oliver that he can’t let Anna keep risking everything for me. I am not the same person. I no longer feel like me. I am not aware of my body. I cannot move, can’t force my eyes open, but love? I still feel love.

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