Page 96 of The Life We Almost Had

‘Shethinksshe gave birth to a baby. Oliver, I can’t be involved with this anymore. I’m sorry.’

They were all sorry.

‘Could you possibly do one last thing for me?’ he asks. ‘Could you take Anna for her post-trial evaluation and keep her with you for an hour?I’m going to try the equipment for myself.’

‘Has she given her permission?’

‘No.’

‘Is that ethical?’

‘Is any of this? At least… at least we would know one way or the other if any of this has been real.’

Eva stands. ‘An hour. No more.’

Sofia expresses her disapproval. ‘This isn’t right without Anna’s consent.’

‘I’m not proud of what I’m about to do.’ Oliver isn’t proud of any of it. His life’s work. His biggest dream. Every time he measures his previous expectations with the reality, it leaves a sour coating in his mouth. He hasn’t changed the world, and he knows if he doesn’t let Anna connect to Adam again he will have made her world unbearable. Science should enhance, progress, improve. He forgot it also had the power to destroy. He has to know if the equipment works. If he can utilize it in a different way. Without hurting people. Without hurting Anna.

He slips on the goggles. The headphones. It’s warm inside of the scanner. Claustrophobic. He waits, forcing his breathing to slow as he listens to Sofia count.

Ten

Please work.

Nine

His life’s dream.

Eight

I’m sorry, Anna.

Seven

This is for Clem.

Six

For Adam.

Five

For everyone who has ever sat with an unresponsive patient.

Four

For anyone who has ever wondered if there is anything else.

Three

Clem.

Two

Clem.

One

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