Page 70 of From Now On

Nina Kelly

She will never be her, the person she longs to be. Even if she were, she would only fuck it up, because that’s what she does. Hurt other people. She couldn’t even be bothered to say goodbye to her parents when they left on New Year’s Eve. Couldn’t spare five seconds to hug them, tell them she loved them.

She did not even look at them properly.

Love is a privilege she doesn’t deserve.

She will forever be Nina Johnson, lost.

Alone.

If she could go back to one moment in time it would be that New Year’s Eve morning, in Pippa’s kitchen. If she could make amends now somehow, she would.

She’d do anything.

Nina opens her YouTube app and searches for videos. She scrolls through clip after clip until she finds it, something she can hold on to.

Something she can believe in.

Something that might changeeverything.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Charlie

It feels as though something has crawled into Charlie’s mouth and died. He reaches for a glass of water but every time he moves his head the pneumatic drill in his brain grows louder.

It’s ten o’clock and he’s still in bed, partly because he feels so rough and partly because he’s avoiding Nina. The humiliation of being caught half undressed on the landing with her teacher is crushing.

There’s a light tap on his bedroom door. ‘Come in, Duke,’ he calls, and he winces as the throbbing behind his temples increases.

‘How did you know it was me?’ Duke asks.

Because Nina would have thudded on the door, hard and angry.

‘Magic.’ He tries to smile.

‘It smells weird in here.’ Duke covers his mouth and nose with his sleeve.

‘Yes, that’s because I did something very stupid last night.’

‘Has Miss Rudd gone?’

‘She has and I’m sorry if she upset you.’

‘Nina hates her.’

‘I know that now. Look, about me and Sasha breaking up…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Do you have any questions?’ Charlie forces a smile.

‘Dunno. Are you going to miss her?’

‘Yes.’

‘Me too. Can I go to Evie’s? She said her mum will pick me up.’

‘Of course.’ Charlie feels relief flood through him. ‘Duke—’ he calls as his brother turns away. ‘I’m glad you’ve got a friend.’

‘We all need a friend, don’t we?’

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