Page 74 of Forever Fascinating

“I never intended to have that little, bitty drink go straight to my head,” he admitted. “I’m not touching Ouzo again. I didn’t even think I liked licorice that much.”

“It was surprisingly good. I finished all three of my glasses.”

“I guess I’m a featherweight when it comes to alcohol,” he laughed softly, smiling at her. “Perhaps we can get a bottle for a souvenir to send back with you, and someday enjoy it once again together… safely.”

She set the coffee mug down in her lap and looked at him, studying him, and smiling openly.

“I would really like that, Matthew.”

“You would?”

“Yeah, I would,” she her voice gentle. “Maybe in a year from now, we can have a little drink and look through our photos, remembering this trip together.”

“Does that mean we’ll be seeing each other next April and I should go ahead and submit for time off again?” he said quietly, reaching for her hand, needing to hold it.

“I really like us…” she whispered openly, her beautiful eyes watching him. “I know you are deployed out there…”

“I’mstationedthere,” he countered quietly, not looking away from her. “My assigned duty base is there. It might change eventually, but I don’t get to go home when my ‘deployment’is over. I’m not trying to bring you down, or crush your hopes, but I want to be clear with you… because I really like you, too.”

“So, it would be only during your vacation times that we got to see each other,” she said quietly, her thumb gently caressing his hand.

“Yes… until I got stationed somewhere else and we’d have to talk then about what this between us or what things could look like.”

She sat there silently, watching, and he could see her mind working. He didn’t want to give her the wrong picture, but he also didn’t want to give her his heart, if she wasn’t going to be a fan of seeing each other a few times a year until he received orders elsewhere… and that could be anywhere in the world.

“I wish I could tell you more, give you more, but that’s all I can do right now because of where I’m stationed,” he whispered, looking away, and realizing that this might be too much for her. “Military life isn’t for everyone, but leaving Boston helped me escape a few issues I had growing up and…”

“I’m in,” Jana said quietly, causing him to look back at her in surprise. “Did you think I wouldn’t be?”

“My dad left when I was a boy, because things got too hard and…”

She frowned.

“I’mnotyour dad, dude…”

Matthew laughed softly, shaking his head.

“No, you are far from it,” he smiled, watching her. “You’re incredible and sometimes I think that I’m not good enough to be here, sitting beside you.”

“See, that’s the problem…” Jana began. “You aren’t beside me. You are in front of me, so far away, keeping me at arm’s length, and…”

Matthew set down his cup of coffee and impulsively scooted forward, reaching for her without a second thought. His hand reached out, cradling her head, drawing him to her.

She was right. She wasn’t his past, she wasn’t afraid to fight for this, and he was holding himself far from her… because he was the one who was scared.

“We might miss breakfast dawdling like this…” he whispered, feeling himself melting in her golden eyes as she gazed at him.

“We can find something when we head out,” she countered breathlessly, reaching for him as well. “Life is an adventure, right?”

“So, it is…”

He leaned forward, hesitating, as so many things ran through his mind in that moment. He’d never fooled around, toyed with girls, because he believed in waiting for the one… and he knew he found her.

Despite his fears, or the frightening way he could end up lonely, lost, or alone like his mother, marrying the first person who was halfway decent. Those fears were always lingering in his mind.

He once claimed that he only wanted someone he could get along with… but that was until Jana flew onto his radar.

He wanted her.

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