Page 86 of Prisoner of Steel and Shadow

Her poor abused heart tumbled straight to her feet, and her gaze followed. Defeat was a cold, bitter taste on her tongue.

This is what you get for daring to stray. You knew better. The High Lord’s will is law. You live to serve. Your wishes mean nothing.

As her mental tirade continued, the crowd gave a surprised shout and took up a slow chant.

"Bu-tcher."

"Bu-tcher."

"Bu-tcher."

Shadow's head snapped up in time to see Ronan jogging up to her, a smile tugging up the corner of his mouth.

“Sorry I’m late.”

The bell rang out, and Shadow gave the tower a pointed look. “I’d say you were just in time.”

“Oh, goodie. You made it,” Erebos said from his place beside her, his voice dripping with disdain. “We weresoworried about you.”

“I’m sure you were.” Ronan ran a hand down his black shirt, his palm stained crimson when he pulled it away. “As was the welcoming party you left for me.”

Apparently these two weren’t even going to pretend they didn’t despise each other anymore. Good to know that the game—if not over exactly—had taken a definite turn. It would also seem there’d already been a number of casualties. Why did that make her bones buzz in warning?

Ronan moved in until he was right next to her, sandwiching her between him and Erebos. He pitched his voice low as Dmitri took center stage, ready to address the crowd and kick off the main event. “Did you miss me, kitten?”

Is it considered missing you when I’ve thought of little else than the velvety growl of your voice when you call me ‘kitten’ or the way just the whisper of your lips on my skin makes me forget how to breathe? What about when I’ve spent the last hour terrified I’d never see your face again when I haven’t been afraid of anything since I was a child? What have you done to me? What have you awakened, and how do I put it back to sleep?

Unable to say any of that, she kept her voice even and her tone dry. “No more than I would a rash.”

He chuckled. “What did I miss?”

“You mean you haven’t guessed?”she asked, keeping her eyes trained on Dmitri and her voice low.

“I’m assuming there’s going to be some kind of fight.”

“A battle royale,” she confirmed. “We are all facing off against each other. The last one standing wins.”

“Good thing I’m already warmed up.”

She risked a glance up at him. His expression was unreadable, but a muscle ticked in his jaw. Sensing her gaze on him, his eyes shifted to hers. They didn’t exchange a word, but an unspoken agreement passed between them. They wouldn’t turn on each other unless—until—they had to.

The backs of his knuckles grazed hers. She wasn’t sure what the small touch implied. Was he apologizing for what was about to happen? Reassuring her? Something else entirely? Stars, she was exhausted from trying to decipher this new language he’d introduced her to. Things were so much simpler before he came into her life.

Simpler, but also without color or nuance.

She honestly couldn’t say which she preferred.

Frowning, Shadow turned her focus to Dichen, her mind still a riot of unanswered questions.Will I ever be able to go back to how things used to be after today? Do I want to?

Shadow knew ‘after today’ was code for ‘if he dies’ or ‘if I kill him.’

Remember what you’re fighting for. Remember why you are doing this. After today, you will be free.

Somehow the encouragement didn’t help put things in perspective the way it usually did. Nor were the words particularly comforting. After the High Lord’s insistence that not even winning would spare her from the future he’d set for them... she wasn’t sure what exactly she was fighting for anymore.

If it was up to him, freedom would never be hers. Which meant everything she’d done in the name of winning would be for nothing. Each choice... each death... utterly meaningless.

A quiet but insistent voice slithered through the back of her mind, its words so unexpected—so treasonous—she could hardly believe them to be hers.Why continue to obey the rules of a man you no longer respect?

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