Page 6 of Death's Devotion
Looking in my mirror, I find everyone on the run with us trying to keep up with us. It’s not going to happen, but they’re giving it a good try. There’s no way in fuck these guys will keep up with us because Lash and I have done so much work on our bikes not many people can keep up with us these days. Other than our brothers. Our blood brothers. We’re always working on our bikes and making them faster than they should be. The rest of the guys have the option to do the same, they simply choose not to. However, right now, I’m glad we can get back faster than should be normal. I’m going to do my damndest to stay away from Kelsey, but I still want to make sure she’s okay. That nothing’s happened while I was gone.
One of the things I have noticed is Kelsey’s been losing weight. More than a woman should who’s carrying a baby. If my math is correct, she’s about four months pregnant. Or pretty damn close to being so. She should be gaining weight and possibly already showing a little baby bump. Especially since it’s not her first pregnancy. However, she’s skinnier than when she first showed up and it’s not good if you ask me. I might have to make a call to Doc and find out what’s going on with her. Even if I’m not involved, I still want to make sure she’s okay and everything is going good with the pregnancy. I’d do the same for any woman I know. It’s just worse because I know the reason she’s in this predicament is partly my fault.
“Yeah. Not fuckin’ happy. With Sab needin’ to get ready to go into the operatin’ room, he doesn’t even fuckin’ know if she’s still at the hospital. This isn’t gonna fuckin’ happen, Lash. Somethin’ should have been in fuckin’ place to make sure someone stayed behind with her. That she remained at the hospital when she finally showed up. I’m not fuckin’ happy about this shit,” I growl out, not taking my eyes from the road in front of me.
“It’ll be handled when we get back. You claimin’ this girl?”
“Not fuckin’ happenin’. The only reason I’m tellin’ you this now is because you’re gonna fuckin’ find out eventually. She’s fuckin’ pregnant. With my baby. Fucked her when Jae and the guys got married and she’s now pregnant,” I tell him, still not looking at a guy I’ve known my entire life.
“She fuckin’ trap you?”
“Nope. Not even fuckin’ goin’ there. The only reason I know is because I took her to the doctor. She wasn’t even thinkin’ about bein’ pregnant. Her entire mind is focused on her son and makin’ sure Vince doesn’t catch up to her. That’s not who Kelsey is. If you’re askin’ me that shit, you haven’t spent any time with her,” I state, knowing deep in my soul it’s the truth.
“Wanted to make sure you knew that shit, Death. Don’t think for a fuckin’ second I don’t know what the fuck you’ve been through. I do. Don’t bring it up cause it’s not my fuckin’ place to do so. You’re still not gonna fuckin’ claim her?” he asks, the disappointment clear in his tone.
“I’m not claimin’ her. I don’t fuckin’ want an ol’ lady or a fuckin’ kid. Never fuckin’ have or will. I’ll support her financially and that’s all I can give her. I’ll make sure her visits are covered, any medicine, or anythin’ else she needs will be paid for as well. All this shit is bein’ kept off the books. Doc is gonna take care of her and that’s the offer she made to Kelsey. Lash, I ain’t doin’ this shit and I’m not talkin’ it to fuckin’ death either,” I tell him, hitting the button to shut the communication off on my helmet.
The rest of the ride to Braedon goes by in a blur. So many fucking things are going through my mind and I have no way to stop them. There’s nothing but the open road ahead of me as I make my way around traffic and don’t slow down for any reason. While I want to be at the hospital with my family, I know I need to search for Kelsey first. I’ll head to the compound and see if she’s there before going anywhere else. Lash and everyone else can go to the hospital and I’ll show up when I get there.
Pulling off from the small group of us, I make my way through town and straight for the compound. As I ride down Main street, I keep my eyes peeled for any sign of the SUV she’s driving around from the club. With her car out of commission, she needed something to use to get wherever she had to go. Especially if something happened to her son. So, Lash and my brother handed her over the keys the day she moved into the apartment out back. I’m thankful to them because I was about to hand over the keys to one of my personal vehicles so she had something.
When I pull into the compound, it resembles a fucking ghost town. Not a single bike, car, SUV, or truck is parked in the parking lot. Our newest Prospect is the only one here from the looks of it. Riding around the clubhouse, I don’t stop until I get to the row houses. The SUV is parked at the very end where Kelsey always parks it. I pull up behind the vehicle and shut my engine off. There’s no sign of a bike or anything here either. What the fuck is going on around here?
Getting off my bike after making sure it’s not gonna fall to the ground where I’m parking it, I make my way to her front door. Music is all I can hear as I get closer to the front. Knocking on the door, I wait a minute to see if she’ll open up for me. When she doesn’t, I make my way inside to find her in the kitchen with her head in her hands and her shoulders shaking as if she’s crying. The music isn’t as loud as I thought it was and I don’t see her son anywhere as I look around. Before she notices me standing in her apartment, I turn around and walk back outside. To know she’s so completely lost in her emotions she didn’t notice me enter her space, breaks something in me. Something I didn’t know that could be broken any longer.
Shaking my head, I make my way to my bike and straddle it. I don’t hesitate to start the engine and take off. I’m needed at the hospital where my family is. The place I know I’ll be surrounded by those I know and who know me as much as I let them. Judge will surely have something to say to me. But, there’s a whole lot I have to say to the guys from here as well. Someone should fucking be here with her. Pressing a button on my helmet, I make a call to get someone here before I leave. I’m not going to leave her with a new damn Prospect who probably doesn’t know how to defend himself let alone a pregnant woman and her young son. Soon, everyone will know how fucking pissed I am about this situation, and they can all fucking deal with it too.
Chapter Five
I HAVE NO clue who the hell was following me on the way to the hospital. It could have been Vince, one of his men, or someone else. However, my gut tells me this is Vince. He’s the one behind me being followed. If this were about the club or someone in the club, they would have followed the large group when Jaelyn went into labor. Still, it doesn’t stop me from leaving the hospital on my own. I’m not going to make one of these men, or the ol’ ladies, leave to escort me to the clubhouse and my little apartment when I can get there on my own. I’ll be careful and once I’m behind the safety of the gates, Vince and his asshole men won’t be able to get to me. At least not without alerting someone to them doing it. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. I’ve found out Jae’s doing okay. They’re taking her in for a cesarean section to deliver the babies and I’ll just be in the way if I stay there. She’s got more than enough people at her side.
The second I got to the apartment and laid Brent down for his nap, I made my way to the kitchen and turned on some music. It’s loud enough to drown out the thoughts flying through my head on a giant loop. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling as I sat at the small table and rested my head in my hands. My body is exhausted from all the work we’ve been doing to get the bakery ready for opening day. Then to deal with the shop and closing it up on my own while worrying if Vince was going to show up only made it even worse. I’m absolutely ready to sleep for a week and not let any of the thoughts consuming me take up space in my head any longer.
Especially the thoughts about a certain biker. One who makes my heart race and the breath stall in my lungs from seeing him for a second. Death is a man I know I could lose my heart to so easily. Whenever he’s around I feel safe and know he’ll never let anyone get close to me who intends to hurt me. Even if I weren’t pregnant with his child, he’d be the same way. He’s a protector to everyone around him. Something I’ve never known a man to be. The men I’ve had in my life have done nothing but hurt those around them. To gain whatever they can from the women in their lives. Death is not like anyone I’ve ever met before and I know that’s why I gave him those few hours so many months ago. That’s not who I am and I had to have felt something for him deep down to climb in his bed so easily.
When I finally stop crying, I wipe the tears from my face and stand from the table. Walking around the living room, I pick up Brent’s toys and make sure they’re in the small crate I keep them in. Easy to load up in a hurry so I don’t have to leave everything belonging to my son behind in the event I have to leave in a hurry. Death wasn’t wrong when he said all of my things are packed up and I’ve only got what I need for Brent out. It’s the way I’ve lived for so long it’s become a habit. Even most of Brent’s things are still packed up in bags so I can easily toss them in the car for a quick getaway.
Once the toys are picked up, I make a quick dinner of a sandwich and some cut up vegetables for myself. I’ll eat really quick and take a shower before climbing into bed. It’s already getting harder to keep my eyes open as the exhaustion settles in and fills every piece of me. There will be no lingering in my shower tonight or taking a few minutes to let the hot water wash down over my body. Every single muscle in my body is tight as fuck and I know it’s going to take a miracle to get them to loosen up again.
Eating my quick dinner, I make sure I have my phone in case someone calls with an update about Jae and the babies. I’m not really expecting them to because I’m not part of the club or anything, but I don’t want to miss a call at any rate. If someone needs something, I want to be the person to get it for them. There’s no reason for them to leave the hospital when they’re there to support one of their own. Just one more thing to make me long for the kind of life these men and women live. They always have someone at their back, aren’t ever alone when they truly need someone, and have such a large family. No one ever has to worry about where their next meal is coming from, who’s going to help them if they aren’t feeling the best and need someone to help out with their kid, or anything else. Right now, I realize how truly alone I am in the world.
There’s no one to help me if I need it. No one to miss me if I suddenly leave without a word. I’m about to have two children under two years old and will go through everything alone. I won’t have the large group of men and women filling a waiting room waiting to meet the newest member of the family. I let a few tears slide down my face just as a knock sounds on the door. Hastily wiping them away, I make my way over to look through the peephole. Lash is standing at the door. A lick of fear runs down my spine with the President of the club standing there. Maybe I’m about to be kicked out.
Opening the door, I look at Lash as he stares down at me, concern filling his face.
“Kelsey, can I come in for a minute?” he asks, not pushing past me or anything as he waits for my answer.
“Of course. It’s your place,” I tell him, standing back and holding the door so I don’t land on my ass or something as my legs go weak.
“No, it’s your place,” he states, walking in and turning to face me as I continue holding the door. “Jae and the babies are doin’ well. They were delivered by a cesarean section. When we left she was sleepin’ and the guys were standin’ guard over their wife, sons, and daughter. We’re all goin’ to go back tomorrow to see them.”
“Congratulations. Please tell her I said I’m here if she needs anything. And to not worry about the shop or anything. I’ll do everything in my power to make it a success while she’s out with the babies,” I tell him, my voice almost a whisper as I move to place a hand on my stomach but quickly drop it back to my side.
“You’re not gonna go with us?” he questions me, his voice filled with confusion.
“No. It’s a time for family and that doesn’t include me. Besides, I’ll be at the shop. It’s not going to open itself. I have a lot to do to get ready for the rest of the week. I don’t want to run out of things or have to stay even later on a daily basis to make sure the baked goods and candy are ready to go for the next day,” I inform him, knowing it’s nothing more than an excuse to get out of going where I’m not really wanted.
“I’m gonna beat that fuckers ass,” Lash mutters, his voice barely heard from the few feet separating us. “Is Brent sleepin’?”
