Page 5 of Brutal Knight

“Really? Well, get to it, then. I want you to try.”

Finn’s nose scrunches. He scowls as he throws another punch. I let it roll off my shoulder, twist sideways, then throw in a right hook and hit his chest. It knocks Finn back a centimeter. I push my opening, throwing in a flurry of jabs. Finn barely keeps his guard up.

He takes a few quick steps backward, almost turning his face away to look where he’s going before he realizes it’s a bad idea. I push him farther and farther, not slowing down. The burn in my arms feels good, the speed forcing me to concentrate.

My brother almost stumbles, barely dodging a sharp jab that ends up rolling off his shoulder. He’s scowling by the time I catch up to him, pressing him closer and closer to the wall. A flinty spark glints in his eyes, annoyance radiating from him.

“Damn, man,” he snaps. “Don’t you know how to reset?”

“Sorry,” I say. I don’t really mean it, the same way he doesn’t mean his grumbling.

Times like this, when he’s more lucid than ever, he seems to know there’s something wrong with how he acts. What he does. He seems to know that he’s losing himself, that he can’t keep up this pace. The more he fights, the more apparent it becomes.

He’s not really angry with me, he’s angry with himself.

Maybe he knows why he’s acting like this, but he can’t stop. Maybe he doesn’t know why he’s like this, and that pisses him off and makes him feel useless.

I wish I knew. I wish I knew how to help him, but I don’t. I just know that he’s struggling, and I understand that.

Maybe that’s why he comes over without me needing to ask him. Maybe us hitting each other into reality is going to help in the end. I sure fucking hope it does.

We both take a step back. I bounce on my heels as Finn stretches, raising his hands over his head. He squints at me like he expects me to take a cheap shot when he’s open.

“Oh, come on,” I say.

“I don’t trust you.”

“Don’t be like that.”

“You’re a bastard, Connor. Making a man fight this early.”

I snort. “You call this fighting? Seems like you’re losing.”

Finn scowls. He drops his hands, and I shift, preparing. We face each other and then we start again.

It’s been like this forever. I can’t say I don’t like fighting. I’m always up for it. Whether it’s a bar or a gym, it doesn’t matter. I’ve always been partial to a good fight.

Now more than ever, I have a reason to take out my frustrations.

It’s been days since Willow escaped. I’ve spent them in increasing unrest, the reality of the situation starting to burrow beneath my skin. It’s made me touchy, I know.

Walking into her room and seeing her gone made my stomach fall right to my feet. It was one of the worst feelings I’ve experienced. For a second, I thought I might find her dead in the bathroom, somehow overdosed. I thought maybe she’d jumped out the window and hurt herself.

A thousand possibilities unfolded, all worse than the next. I felt like I had failed the one job I had, the one thing I was supposed to do for my family.

But she’s missing, and that’s almost worse. It’s almost worse to think that some other family could get her, could hurt her or try to get information about the O’Reilly syndicate.

I can’t do things like this. I can’t be the one making stupid mistakes. I can’t afford it. My brothers may give Finn pass after pass to fuck up and get drunk when he shouldn’t, but I have to hold myself to a higher standard. If I fuck up, there’s no blood to save me.

Finn throws a fist. I sidestep it, moving in for the kill. He dodges just in time. I press the opening, backing him up again. This time he fights harder to hold me off.

But he’s not making smart choices, just like he’s not doing the same thing in life. He pushes too hard, overextending. My gaze tracks every opening he leaves as he presses toward me.

Finn throws a jab, and I knock his arm away and throw a hit that lands a little too hard. He grunts at the impact, shuffling sideways away from me.

It feels like I’ve let the family down.

“Jesus,” Finn grumbles. He shakes his head and steps around me. “Come on, then. Let’s have it out.”

---